Boundaries and Priorities

I went by my old office today to plug my computer into the network, which updates software and allows me to perform functions that I can only perform when I am "in house."  I thought I would coach two clients from there rather than by phone since I was in the building.  I needed to chat with my boss about my detail. Slam dunk, I thought: three hours tops.  Out by 4 p.m., I guessed. Wrong!  I walked out just before the 7 p.m. closing of the entrance to our building closest to the Metro.

How did this happen, I thought, as the security guard swung by our office at 6 to see why I was there so late.  I've continued to ponder that question into the evening.  I took a walk and thought about it more.  I need to be better about establishing priorities and setting boundaries.  I have made the assumption that if something was on my plate, I had to do it.

As I walked, I thought, I need to be better about assessing the consequences.  If bad consequences will result, I should probably do a task.  If really bad consequences will result, I should definitely do it. But, what, I asked myself were bad consequences.  I've learned during this detail that I can push things off for several months that I used to think needed immediate attention.  No bad consequences. No dire consequences.

I also thought about what were bad consequences.  I actually sat and brought my relaxed self to conversations with three colleagues.  I took time to embrace and connect with another colleague who is battling cancer and was back in the office.  Sitting and talking have not been luxuries that I thought I could afford, but the truth is that neglecting those relationships may have carried the worst consequences.

Yes, I will submit my input for my evaluation for to not do so would be foolish and may have significant consequences.  But, my email box that is in Outlook Limbo, I have no ideas what will happen if it overflows.  So I don't get email.  I have an out-of-office message that says I won't be back until February.  Shrug!  Somewhere in between is the password that I need to update, which seems always to need to be updated.  Maybe yes, maybe no.

Most important of my discoveries today is that I need to make myself a priority.  I am much better leaving an office at 5 than at 7, especially since my days start at 7:30.  Getting my exercise, having a relaxed dinner, reading a book, and getting a good night's sleep have been the bottom on my priorities, which I've learned are really nourishing to me.

If this all seems like common sense that I could/should have figured out decades ago, you're right.  I should have.  I didn't.  I am getting it now.  Better late than never.