Surrendering to Partnership

Yesterday my friend and I were on a multi-event outing.  These outings are usually comprised of a number of events or activities; yesterday a visit to special exhibit at the National Gallery, dinner, a walk, gelato, and a concert on the Mall.  More than that, they are an opportunity to talk and explore thoughts. 

At one point in the conversation, we were talking about the winning couple in this week's finals on Dancing with the Stars (DWTS).  She is not a dancer, and I am, so I attempted to explain what I thought allowed the couple to win.  The professional and leader is a long-time DWTS professional.  He is an extraordinary dancer, who has made it to the finals or semi-finals several times over the years, but just never quite put together the championship.  I felt that what had cost him in the past was his arrogance: the dance had always about him in the past.  He was truly obnoxious to everyone--the judges, the audience, and not least, whoever his current partner was.

This time, I said, it seemed to me that he surrendered to the partnership.  Rather than being all about him this time, the goal had been what they created together.  AND, what they created together was truly remarkable.  Granted, he had an extraordinary partner, but I still don't think it would have happened if he hadn't allowed the partnership be the most important.

Today I meditated on opening my heart.  I do so frequently, but I seem to do so more often in the spring.  This year spring has come late, and this has been one of our first really springy weekends.  I long to have someone to share it with, and yet as I pondered on opening my heart today, I questioned whether I even know how.  Then it occurred to me that being in partnership with someone was about surrendering to the partnership.

I recalled a country song popular more than a decade ago in which the female vocalist sings that she doesn't know why they call it "falling" in love because she experiences it more like rockets in the sky.  Hmmm!  Then I felt myself in a meditative free fall.  What would it be like to jump off a cliff and be in a free fall, and then suddenly I felt like I was shooting high in the sky.  I had almost forgotten that sensation.  Yet, I think that is what it is like to surrender to a partnership.  Giving myself to something that is greater.

My problem in the past has been that I have given up myself and then found myself struggling to maintain who I am. I've felt like, if I let go of who I thought I was when I was alone, it would be stolen by the other.  Rather, I think when it works in love, after the free fall of letting go to the limitations of my ego comes the rockets.  Magic is created much as America watched magic on their television screens in the DWTS final this week. Only by letting go of the ego are we able to ascend to something much greater.
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Romantic partnerships aren't the only places that we must surrender to partnership can make magic happen.  I think of a work team on which I serve now, which is full of egos, struggling to dominate.  A lot of talent on that team would create an awesome team if we would all decide the partnership was more important than our individual egos, but sadly, I don't see it happening. Another work team that I am on has done the surrender to the partnership.  We truly are creating wonderful work with no one's name on it: that work reflects the building of partnership.

Today, as I reflected on surrendering to partnership, I couldn't help but think about the partnership I could have with God, if,  as the trite expression goes, I would just let go and let God.  The fallacy in that expression is that it implies either God or me are driving; I don't think that is how partnership with God works.  Our combined intention to the partnership is what allows magic.  I know I have been there, often for long periods--most often when I write. Like my partnerships of love with real human partners that have contracted into my ego, so has my partnership of love with God.  I start trying to figure out what I need to do and forget to just listen.

Can I remember how to allow myself to be in free fall, not knowing what is next or what the outcome will be?  Could I allow myself to just know that the partnership is what is really important?  What would it take for me to know that what is less important than why because the why is fostering love on earth? Why wouldn't I want to surrender myself to that?

I am a dancer who has often written about the relationship with God being like a good dance partnership.  God leads, and we follow. But, the follower has to know his/her part.  The part I've left out is to surrender to the partnership while doing so.

Beauty and Inspiration

I love dance, so it shouldn't be a surprise that I am a pretty consistent viewer of "Dancing with the Stars."  Last night I joined almost everyone in their audience in weeping openly at the most amazing performance.*

The "star" was Amy Purdy.  Amy won bronze in snowboard in the Sochi Paralympics.  She is a double amputee.  You read right.  She lost both legs to bacterial meningitis at 19.  Amy also lost kidney function to the bacterial meningitis, too, and required a kidney transplant. 

And, yes, she did just win a medal in snowboard. (I can't imagine snowboarding with two healthy legs!  EEK!)  If that isn't enough of a head-scratcher.  Think that she is now competing--pretty effectively--in a televised dance competition.  And, if I do the math correctly, she is mid-30s...not ancient by any means, but for a snowboard medallist, pretty impressive.

Amy was ably supported, literally and figuratively, by consistent winning dance pro Derek Hough, as they performed a breathtakingly beautiful contemporary dance.  There wasn't a dry eye in the ballroom...or probably millions of living rooms across the world.  The routine was beautiful and moving, but what an inspiration she was.

For many people, just learning to walk on prosthetic legs as a young adult would be a challenge.  Yet she has mastered movement so completely that she is a successful athletic competitor and now competitive dancer. 

I have to admit that I sat there and said to myself, "Not one more word about not feeling like exercising because you're tired tonight!" I watched and realized that there is nothing I can't do...there is nothing any of us can't do...if we have the will, discipline, and perseverance. 

Last week I was reminded of that by Ernestine "Ernie" Shepherd, a 77-year-old competitive body builder, who didn't begin working out until her mid-50s and didn't begin body building until she was 71!+  Now she gets up at 3 a.m. so that she can train for the marathons that she runs before she goes to her job at the gym teaching fitness classes.  For real!

So whatever excuses we may have for not doing what we want to or should do.  To take a phrase from Nike, "Just do it!" Have the intention and act on it...consistently. We just need to choose what we care about and pursue it with passion.  But it is nice to have inspirations like Amy and Ernie to get us moving.


*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibOlQIojQv0
+https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wXFSczN6Rw