The Pursuit of Happiness

I've had time to write this weekend, and I really wanted to do so.  To my consternation, nothing would come, and that almost never happens. On Friday, I'd been taking medication for pain associated with a toothache, and I couldn't focus. I watched a couple of movies, attempted to read, and had lunch with someone with whom I'd been "matched."  (It wasn't.)

This morning I went to church a little early.  Often when I sit and reflect, something will come.  It didn't.  When I got on the train to come home, a religious leaflet from the Church of Scientology was on the seat beside me.  In large letters with a blue background was a quote from the Church's founder, L. Ron Hubbard, "No man is happy without a goal, and no man can be happy without faith in his own ability to reach that goal."

In that instant, I knew what I'd write.  One of the movies I'd watched was "Hector and His Search for Happiness." The movie is based on a book by the same name  by Francois Lelord, about a man who's pretty much achieved his goals, but knows he isn't happy.  British psychiatrist Hector takes off on a months-long journey of Asia, Africa, and America to find out what makes people happy.

During the course of his journey, he comes up with 23 rules or principles for happiness.  However, the line that sticks in my mind comes from a lecture Hector attends on the Pursuit of Happiness. The happiness lecturer says something like, "It is not the pursuit of happiness that counts but the happiness you find in pursuit." Although Hector finds 23 guidelines for happiness, it is clear that most boil down to being present and finding happiness in the possibility of the moment, whatever is occurring.  At the end of the movie, we see Hector back with the same home, office, and partner just being delighted at the same life through which he used to move mindlessly.

In the 1990s when I coached primarily physicians and C-Suite executives, most of whom had achieved all their goals, I found that neither the goals nor the pursuit of them brought happiness, peace, or joy.  In fact, one said to me, "As soon as I set a goal, I know I will achieve it.  Even the pursuit has lost it's joy."

With all due respect to any Scientologist readers, I am pretty confident that Hubbard was wrong.  Hector, the lecturer in the film, my clients, and my own life bring me back to a common theme in this blog: being present and finding joy in whatever is occurring is the path to happiness.

Finding Peace in the Chaos

I pondered what is "guidance," as I arrived on this meditational journey. Was it the inner whisperings I heard from within to go to the Peloponnese? Was it messages from four people immediately before my journey that I should go to Santorini and Crete? Was it something I'd found in a file from my last journey to Greece 16 years earlier, which particularly resonated with me now? The answer I believe is "yes."

I found important lessons in Peloponnese. I learned a lot from listening at other places. Perhaps the most surprising have been the lessons learned on Santorini. When each of the friends who advised I come here did so, I always said I liked to avoid tourist places. The answer was always that I must come here. So I did.

I admit that I was more than a little grouchy upon my arrival yesterday. I don't believe I've ever been to a more touristy spot. There was literally not a thing that spoke of integrity with the local region. Most infuriating was the perfect English all about me. Was I in Greece or a local Greek cafe in Washington?

I was immediately convinced that this most photographed place in Greece had only been accomplished by excellent cropping of photos. That would have been the only way not to include unabashed tourist-mongering.

Yet, I was sure I was sent here. How could any wise guide have brought me to such a place, I had asked in my prayer time this morning?

The answer was immediate and clear: find peace and stillness amidst the chaos. That would be a challenge. But I set about to find it.

My guidebook purported three nearby towns which required enough effort to find that only the most determined of guests attempted. Then over breakfast I found a boat trip to out-islands. I booked for tomorrow.

As I hiked to other towns, I was surprised at how quickly the noise of the maddening crowds quieted. In Imerovigli I found a small chapel where I sat for some time. I had truly found peace in the silence.

Just as I had that thought, I heard the Universe laughing at me with the challenge to find peace IN the chaos not withdrawn from it. I chuckled. There are still more ways to find peace in the chaos. The hardest lay ahead: surrounded by the tourists and the hockers.

What echoes in my mind is the parallel with traditional meditation when the mind spins, and the meditator is challenged to still the mind and find peace. It is the same lesson. I am not sure that one ever ends for most of us.

After a lunch break away from that maddening crowd, I am now ready to move to the next lesson: find peace IN the chaos.







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