What is My Why?

Heart Magazines is challenging my commitment to feel free to throw away unwanted gifts.  Over the last 10 days I've probably received a dozen unsolicited and unwanted magazines.  Most I have immediately taken to the recycling bin.  I passed some along to a friend.  Because a couple had articles about wellness, fitness, or nutrition, all topics of interest to me, I kept and mostly skimmed before contributing them to recycling.

This evening I skimmed an interview with Biggest Loser fitness icon Jillian Michaels in the current issue of Redbook.  In it she shared that if we wanted to stick to a healthy regime, how important it was to know "why" wanted it. She shared that now that she has children, instead of choosing between doughnuts and skinny jeans, her "why" has changed to choosing between doughnuts and seeing her great-grandchildren.

The concept of knowing our "why" is not a new one.  Management guru Simon Sinek has one of the most popular YouTube videos* describing that it is the "why" behind an action that really motivates people. As a long-time organizational consultant, I believe the failure to build shared commitment to why something should change is probably the biggest single shortcoming of senior leadership teams. So, Michaels' comments only reinforced what I already know to be true.  If we don't really understand why something is important to us, we aren't likely to stick to it.

I am doing so-so with my relationship with sugar recently.  As I read Michaels' words, I thought maybe that is it: I don't know why I want to avoid sugar.  Well, that isn't quite true.  I am badly addicted, and I don't want any substance to own me like sugar does.  But along with knowing why, it is important to know in positive terms what we want to move toward.  In Michaels' case, she wants to move toward seeing her great-grandchildren.

Not wanting a substance to own me is a negative.  Our brains aren't motivated by negatives. I stopped reading and sat quietly and ran through an exercise I use with coaching clients to ascertain their "why."  I struggled for a bit, and then finally it came to me.  I want to avoid sugar so that I am in spiritual integrity.  I made a commitment to myself to avoid sugar. The commitment has nothing to do with sugar and everything to do with my spiritual discipline to keep a promise I make to myself. When I indulge, and certainly when I overindulge as is so easy during the holidays, my lack of spiritual integrity sucks spiritual energy (and life) from me.  When I keep commitment to myself, I am in spiritual integrity, and I attract supportive, spiritual energy.

As anyone who has grappled with an addiction knows, winning those battles happens one day at a time.  I make no sweeping predictions about how I will do with my struggles with sugar. Now that I understand that, rather than avoiding a destructive substant, my commitment is one to spiritual integrity, I have a definite "why."





*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sioZd3AxmnE

On further reflection...

I wrote yesterday's post about the need to create a memory every day at the very end of my day. After I shut down my computer, my head kept spinning in different directions about the topic.  

I've fallen off the daily gratitude journaling in recent weeks (months?) but I had the thought that gratitude journaling has a common purpose.  By taking time to reflect at the end of the day to identify things for which I am grateful, I also allow myself to remember each of those occurrences.  The remembering has the impact of creating a memory.  Actually, it has the impact of creating several memories--exactly however many things about which I journal.  Then I don't have to worry any longer about wasted days.  Abundantly grace-filled days flow naturally, every day.

At the same moment, I recollected that when I was writing posts for this blog daily, I was also creating memories--ones particularly valuable to me.  The purpose of this blog has been to serve as a shared platform for me to wrestle with the questions that I encounter on the path of my intention to live consciously.  

On tests of motivation, I consistently score highest for learning and growing and making a contribution. (I've never understood being motivated about getting stuff.) On the days that I write in this blog, I am learning and growing, and, for those who receive value from the posts, I am making a contribution.  From my perspective, that is the stuff from which real memories are made.  I am receiving a gift of value and giving one.  

Last night I restarted recording gratitude in my journal again.  I was sure to include that I wrote in my blog, and I learned something about myself.  Furthermore, I had an entry for the side of the journal in which I record gifts that I've given.