What is "woman's work"? While the very question may suggest to male readers that this is not a post that relates to them, that would be inaccurate. What I am writing about here is the spiritual growth of the feminine in each of us, both male and female. The Father of Modern Psychology Carl Jung and his followers believe that mythology offers archetypes of aspects of the human psychology, which describe spiritual lessons that we must learn in order to become more whole.
Jungians generally point to the myth of Psyche and Eros as the myth that describes the spiritual journey of the psychological feminine in all of us. For those who like all the details, I apologize for what will be the 50,000-foot view of this myth.* Conveying the details of the myth are not my purpose here. Suffice it to say, the name "Psyche" means soul and also means butterfly. The myth is about the transition that our soul's make in transforming from chrysalis, the soul as promise, to beautiful and mature butterfly.
The myth symbolizes Psyche's work with a lamp and a knife, and her work is to take a good look at the person she is in relationship to other people, things, and situations. At the start of the myth, she is pretty much unconscious, simply doing what she is told or expected to do.
As her transition progresses, she is forced to look at things differently, creatively, and intuitively because a set of tasks that she must complete would be impossible, given the context from which she starts. Along the way, Psyche learns to listen to her own rhythms and to not get emotionally attached. For the feminine in many of us, her lesson about learning to say "no" and protect her boundaries will resonate.
The lesson of Psyche is often described as "sorting," and it is in that context that I've been revisiting this myth that I first read at least 30 years ago. Both literally and metaphorically, I am in a transition period wherein I have the opportunity to work away from the toxic environment of my normal job for four and a half months. What a perfect opportunity to be able to play around with options in my life without making any permanent commitments.
A former colleague and I lunched on Friday about how transforming it had been to be out of that work environment, freed of the pain-generating physical tension both of us had experienced. With literally a full day of extra time each week, we actually have "a life" again. I have found my humor and creativity return as I work in a respectful and supportive situation.
I confess that the Adrenalin withdrawal has been a struggle, but like any addict who has gone through withdrawal, I have come through the other side happier, healthier, and with more than a little trepidation about slipping back into the addiction when/if I go back to my real job. That brings me to my first sorting. Symbolically, using Psyche's lamp and knife, I am examining my relationship to my job, and maybe to work in general.
Because of a later in life business failure, I have felt driven to rebuild financial assets to support me through retirement. Confronted by age discrimination all around me, I've forced myself to do more and better in whatever I do to counter the occasional ageist jibe. I've also taken jobs that didn't use my strengths, abilities, or creativity to have a regular paycheck. While I do seriously need a regular paycheck for several years, I am no longer willing to work to my weaknesses. That is the lamp shining on my relationship to work. I haven't yet mustered the courage to use the knife to sever ties, but it is much more difficult to keep doing what I've been doing with the light of exploration shining on it.
There is other sorting I choose to do. The house of a friend was flooded about a month ago. He texted me about all the things he was having to throw away. I was more than a little jealous. For some time, I've been bumping into an accumulation of things that are no longer useful or desirable, and, when I do, I wonder, why don't I get rid of that? There is also a growing accumulation of things that I've received for gifts that I don't and won't use, but I have felt that I need to hang onto for fear of offending the giver. For several years, I've asked friends to not give me material gifts but instead plan to do something together, but largely my pleas have fallen on deaf ears.
I am also recognizing the need to sort activities more judiciously, so step away from habitual activities or things that I "should" do and to plan to devote time to things that are important to me. During the six weeks I've been in my temporary job, I have started to exercise regularly again, and tomorrow I will meet a colleague after work to practice a dance routine for a talent show which will raise money for charity. Still on the list of things to choose, strengthening exercise in addiction to aerobic. Live theater is working its way back into my schedule.
Using the knife to cut away other activities that I have missed and enjoyed to make time for writing has been more difficult. While I say it is a priority, choosing to write regularly is something that regular readers of this blog will attest is not something I've made time for as I did even two years ago. Cooking is a delight, and I know that I spend a disproportionate amount of time doing so. Is it wrong to spend too much time in something which brings me pleasure? Is that even the correct question? Perhaps I need to weigh writing against cooking before I decide where to use the knife of sorting. I enjoy volunteering and I believe service is how we make a life, but knowing where to say "no" among things I enjoy is challenging.
I have my lamp out and my knife in hand to do the "woman's work" to which the myth of Psyche points. I am eager to take the chrysalis of awareness and transform it into the butterfly of conscious living. Doing so, though, is, well, work...the work of my soul.
*For an extended discussion of the Myth of Psyche and Eros, see: http://www.peace.ca/mythofpsyche.htm
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