I went by my old office today to plug my computer into the network, which updates software and allows me to perform functions that I can only perform when I am "in house." I thought I would coach two clients from there rather than by phone since I was in the building. I needed to chat with my boss about my detail. Slam dunk, I thought: three hours tops. Out by 4 p.m., I guessed. Wrong! I walked out just before the 7 p.m. closing of the entrance to our building closest to the Metro.
How did this happen, I thought, as the security guard swung by our office at 6 to see why I was there so late. I've continued to ponder that question into the evening. I took a walk and thought about it more. I need to be better about establishing priorities and setting boundaries. I have made the assumption that if something was on my plate, I had to do it.
As I walked, I thought, I need to be better about assessing the consequences. If bad consequences will result, I should probably do a task. If really bad consequences will result, I should definitely do it. But, what, I asked myself were bad consequences. I've learned during this detail that I can push things off for several months that I used to think needed immediate attention. No bad consequences. No dire consequences.
I also thought about what were bad consequences. I actually sat and brought my relaxed self to conversations with three colleagues. I took time to embrace and connect with another colleague who is battling cancer and was back in the office. Sitting and talking have not been luxuries that I thought I could afford, but the truth is that neglecting those relationships may have carried the worst consequences.
Yes, I will submit my input for my evaluation for to not do so would be foolish and may have significant consequences. But, my email box that is in Outlook Limbo, I have no ideas what will happen if it overflows. So I don't get email. I have an out-of-office message that says I won't be back until February. Shrug! Somewhere in between is the password that I need to update, which seems always to need to be updated. Maybe yes, maybe no.
Most important of my discoveries today is that I need to make myself a priority. I am much better leaving an office at 5 than at 7, especially since my days start at 7:30. Getting my exercise, having a relaxed dinner, reading a book, and getting a good night's sleep have been the bottom on my priorities, which I've learned are really nourishing to me.
If this all seems like common sense that I could/should have figured out decades ago, you're right. I should have. I didn't. I am getting it now. Better late than never.
Ariana Huffington, CEO of The Huffington Post and author of the best-selling book Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder, published in 2014, makes a convincing case for self care on a personal as well as professional level.
ReplyDelete“In the year since Thrive was published, I’ve been thrilled to meet people all over the world who are longing for change. People are rejecting the myth that burnout has to be the price we must pay for success. But again and again, I was asked, ‘It’s hard to change old habits—how do I go from understanding what I need to do in order to thrive to actually doing it?’”