Channelling Sheila

In my January 29 post, "Angels Among Us," I wrote about my friend Sheila who passed away recently.  I am certain she was an angel right in my office, and I didn't appreciate her nearly enough when she was there.  I had been on a different job assignment and was just ready to return to my office when she died.  I cried pretty hard at her funeral home visitation.  I was dreading going back to my job and I really couldn't imagine the office without her light.

As I struggled with returning to my job, especially without her light, I experienced a moment when I had a flash: I didn't have to imagine the office without that light.  I knew that anyone could bring that light, and if Sheila was gone, I could bring it. Each of us has that light, and I think we have a responsibility, maybe even a privilege to do so. As a consequence, I've been trying. I know, the Yoda said there is no try, there is do or no do.  I have been doing at times. I have been "no doing" at times. That's just the way it is.

It's been two weeks. What I've discovered along the way is that on the days that I am letting my light shine, I feel better. It really does feel like Sheila's light is there, except it is coming from within me. On the days that I don't quite get there, or maybe don't get there at all, I experience the office as dark and heavy.  It's not the office that has changed: it is me and what I bring to it that has changed.

I am giving up on trying to let me light shine. Lent presents me with an opportunity. One of my tasks is to eliminate whatever separates me from God, and I really believe that light within me is God. Rather than trying to let my light shine, I am going to focus to my intention on feeling and radiating God's light. The light graces me and blesses others around me. I think/hope/imagine that 40 days of focusing on letting my light shine may change my life, and I'd like to think that it will improve the lives of those around me.