The three- and six-year olds in my life about whom I've written previously sent me a set of 24 (yes!) placemats to color. The mats were collages of scenes from 24 different cities. Sunday I lost myself in London and daydreamed about a visit there over 20 years ago. I just drifted along in timelessness.
My reverie, which continued long after I stopped coloring, reminded me of a time in my adult life when I was truly playful. I loved coming up with playful schemes. I just let my inner kid spontaneously let me and those around me laugh...mostly. I remember someone who once questioned, "Aren't you ever going to grow up?" At the time, I was in my early mid-40s. I pondered for only a second before responding, "I hope not!"
So what exactly is play? Stuart Brown, head of the non-profit National Institute for Play, said in a 2014 interview for NPR** "Play is something that is done for its own sake....It's voluntary, it's pleasurable, it offers a sense of engagement, it takes you out of time. And the act itself is more important than the outcome."
As I read this definition, I connected the dots with one of the places I am really able to play--the dance floor. I am a good dancer, as are most of the people I dance with. What I really enjoy most is dancing with someone who is good but isn't dancing to prove something. A partner who brings an element of reckless abandonment...with good technique...flips my switches. I love it when I walk off the dance floor with both of us laughing.
I recall being in Seattle with a friend years ago. Pre-GPS, we got lost. The more we tried to find our way to the right freeway, the more lost we seemed to become. Somehow, we got started giggling, and within a few minutes, we were laughing so hard that we had to pull over and stop. A nice man offered help, but we were laughing so hard we could hardly get the words out about what road we were attempting to find. Our playfulness about getting lost took us out of time, and the fun we were having certainly was more important than finding I5.
It also seems to me that play brings to us that most spiritual of qualities--being present. I am not sure it is possible to really truly play and not be in the present. If the mind is wandering or we get too caught up in the win and lose, whatever we are doing ceases to be play and becomes some other sort of endeavor. Many years ago during a personal growth seminar, my former partner and I discovered that all the things that we said we did for fun had really become work. While it was great exercise, I cannot imagine any definition of play that includes climbing 18 miles up a mountain on a 100-degree.
One internet source* explains there are five key benefits for adult play:
- Relieve stress
- Improve brain function
- Stimulate the mind and boost creativity
- Improve relationships and connection to others (Apparently, there is a lot of play in durable marriages.)
- Keep you feeling young and energetic
I once had a client who, in presenting the problems his office faced, said, "The administrative support professionals laugh a lot." I queried, "And, that would be a problem how?" I have several games that I facilitate with adult teams at work. Always, the relaxation and laughter break down walls and open communication. Laughter and humor, in and of themselves, have been demonstrated to generate creativity and increase innovation.
Play is apparently also effective at healing emotional wounds. That may be why I so used to love to play. Notice I said, "...used to love to play?" I used to have a fun kit. Among other things it included bubble to blow, three kites to choose from to fly, a full set of 64 crayons and a coloring book. I usually still have a bottle of bubbles and blower on my balcony, just in case I feel the need to blow bubbles, but somewhere along the way journey of surviving two gigantic financial crises and a business failure, the kit disappeared.
Like so many pleasures of life, play seems to have slipped away from me. Brown says that "Adults without play are not much fun to be around." I have found that...about myself. I am delighted to say that the little ones are coming to visit in just over two weeks, and I am sure that I will play with reckless abandon. I hope they will help me rediscover my funny bone and bring play back into my life.
*http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/benefits-of-play-for-adults.htm
*http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2014/08/06/336360521/play-doesnt-end-with-childhood-why-adults-need-recess-too
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