A Giggle's Good for Everyone

Yesterday I wrote about attending the Washington Interfaith Network 2017 organizing meeting and finding myself surrounded by people that aren't in my normal circle of friends. Many were poor, some quite poor, minorities.  Several had brought wiggly preschoolers, I imagine because they couldn't afford the cost of child care. As a "more mature" white woman, I was clearly in the minority, but since I'd taught at an historically black university for several years, being in the minority was one of the things that wasn't uncomfortable to me.

I'd arrived at about the middle of the big crowd that would assemble, found a seat at an empty table, and started to read through some of the papers I'd been handed when I entered.  Suddenly, up popped a surprise from under the table: a delightful little African-American girl with beads in her braided hair and somewhat a sense of style in her not-too-expensive clothes. I am not good at guessing ages, but I am thinking 24 to 30 months: small enough that she could stand up under the table but I could clearly understand her full sentences.  She giggled and said, "Can I sit on your lap?" as she was making her way onto it.  "Sure," I said. She giggled again.

She picked up a pen and began drawing on the papers, but became frustrated at ink on your hands and was trying very hard to get it off.  I helped.  She gave me a big smile.  Then she was off.  I smiled.

Among the two things in my life that were not quite where I've wanted them to be is laughter.  I've yearned for laughter in my life, and I've given it a lot of thought.  I am intentional about watching at least an hour of comedy every day, but that's different than having a real belly laugh about something as it is unfolding or sharing a funny story about something that occurred at work.  As a person who lives alone, I just don't have occasion for that kind of spontaneous laughter.  I understand the value of laughter to our health and well-being.  I became a certified laughter yoga instructor a couple years ago but couldn't find time to teach. Poor excuse.

This week laughter has been on the syllabus for my health coaching class.  One of our assignments has been to share something that makes us laugh on our class electronic discussion board.  There have been a couple jokes, but family stories, particularly those that involve children, have dominated.  I've been having a little bit of a pitty party for myself as I've read these stories and lamented the downside of living alone.  Then, God dropped this little charmer into my lap...literally.

When she returned, she brought a snack with her, and not a healthy one, I am sad to say. The aspiring health coach in me bit her tongue and smiled. She sat it right in front of me as she just made her way back up on my lap as if she'd known me forever.  She politely offered me some junk food.  I politely declined.  This happened a couple of times, and then, I am truly not sure how it happened, but my mouth was open enough that she slipped a Cheeto into the gap.  I was shocked, and laughed...and she squealed with utter delight.  My little friend stayed for a while longer, drew some more, finished her snack, and then became enamoured with a photographer that she wanted to take her picture.

I would say that I have no idea why she picked me out of the crowd...especially since I don't look like people she is probably around most of the time.  I would say that, but I know it isn't true.  I know exactly why I got that giggle that popped up from under the table: I needed a little kid levity, and I got it, when and where I really least expected it.

Play...woohoo!

Sunday afternoon I found a table poolside and sat and colored for an hour or so.  I didn't check the time, so that is just a guess.  I just got lost in the endeavor.  When I did need to look at the clock to go pack a bag for business travel, I felt amazingly relaxed.  And no small amount of pride in my evolving work.

The three- and six-year olds in my life about whom I've written previously sent me a set of 24 (yes!) placemats to color.  The mats were collages of scenes from 24 different cities. Sunday I lost myself in London and daydreamed about a visit there over 20 years ago.  I just drifted along in timelessness.

My reverie, which continued long after I stopped coloring, reminded me of a time in my adult life when I was truly playful.  I loved coming up with playful schemes.  I just let my inner kid spontaneously let me and those around me laugh...mostly.  I remember someone who once questioned, "Aren't you ever going to grow up?"  At the time, I was in my early mid-40s.  I pondered for only a second before responding, "I hope not!"

So what exactly is play?  Stuart Brown, head of the non-profit National Institute for Play, said in a 2014 interview for NPR** "Play is something that is done for its own sake....It's voluntary, it's pleasurable, it offers a sense of engagement, it takes you out of time. And the act itself is more important than the outcome."

As I read this definition, I connected the dots with one of the places I am really able to play--the dance floor.  I am a good dancer, as are most of the people I dance with.  What I really enjoy most is dancing with someone who is good but isn't dancing to prove something.  A partner who brings an element of reckless abandonment...with good technique...flips my switches.  I love it when I walk off the dance floor with both of us laughing.

I recall being in Seattle with a friend years ago.  Pre-GPS, we got lost.  The more we tried to find our way to the right freeway, the more lost we seemed to become.  Somehow, we got started giggling, and within a few minutes, we were laughing so hard that we had to pull over and stop.  A nice man offered help, but we were laughing so hard we could hardly get the words out about what road we were attempting to find. Our playfulness about getting lost took us out of time, and the fun we were having certainly was more important than finding I5.

It also seems to me that play brings to us that most spiritual of qualities--being present.  I am not sure it is possible to really truly play and not be in the present.  If the mind is wandering or we get too caught up in the win and lose, whatever we are doing ceases to be play and becomes some other sort of endeavor.  Many years ago during a personal growth seminar, my former partner and I discovered that all the things that we said we did for fun had really become work.  While it was great exercise, I cannot imagine any definition of play that includes climbing 18 miles up a mountain on a 100-degree.

One internet source* explains there are five key benefits for adult play:

• Relieve stress
• Improve brain function
• Stimulate the mind and boost creativity
• Improve relationships and connection to others  (Apparently, there is a lot of play in durable marriages.)
• Keep you feeling young and energetic

I once had a client who, in presenting the problems his office faced, said, "The administrative support professionals laugh a lot."  I queried, "And, that would be a problem how?" I have several games that I facilitate with adult teams at work.  Always, the relaxation and laughter break down walls and open communication.  Laughter and humor, in and of themselves, have been demonstrated to generate creativity and increase innovation.  

Play is apparently also effective at healing emotional wounds.  That may be why I so used to love to play. Notice I said, "...used to love to play?" I used to have a fun kit.  Among other things it included bubble to blow, three kites to choose from to fly, a full set of 64 crayons and a coloring book. I usually still have a bottle of bubbles and blower on my balcony, just in case I feel the need to blow bubbles, but somewhere along the way journey of surviving two gigantic financial crises and a business failure, the kit disappeared.

Like so many pleasures of life, play seems to have slipped away from me.  Brown says that "Adults without play are not much fun to be around."  I have found that...about myself.  I am delighted to say that the little ones are coming to visit in just over two weeks, and I am sure that I will play with reckless abandon.  I hope they will help me rediscover my funny bone and bring play back into my life.

*http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/benefits-of-play-for-adults.htm

*http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2014/08/06/336360521/play-doesnt-end-with-childhood-why-adults-need-recess-too

A Good Belly Laugh

Twice this week I've caught PBS reruns of earlier presentations of the Mark Twain Award for American Humor. Earlier this week the recognition was for Tina Fey, and tonight Carol Burnett was the object of the salute.

I laughed at the earlier show, but tonight as I watched old skits from The Carol Burnett Show in the 1960s and 70s, I had several serious belly laughs, which, on more than one occasion, brought me both to stitches and tears. Now on extremely attractive octogenarian, neither Burnett's quick wit nor her singing voice had lost their edge. What a talent!

Good belly laughs are seriously under-valued most of the time, and, at least in my world, they are preciously rare. A good laugh relieves stress and relaxes us, and research shows that people learn better and are more creative after laughing. What's not to like about a good belly laugh?!

I like to think that God has a sense of humor. In fact, I am fairly certain that is the case. If we step back and look at the things that we try willfully to control, only to discover later that the very thing we resisted is the best thing that ever happened to us, can't you just hear divine laughter. And there are the times when I've laughed so I didn't cry only to discover that a chuckle was the perfect response.

One of the things I've discovered (and lamented) about living alone and working in a job that is sobering is that I just don't laugh enough so I've set about being intentional about bringing some serious laughs into my life every day. They give me perspective and help me unwind...and help me see the world a bit more like I think God sees it.




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