The Grounded Outlet

You will recall that I've been working a set of affirmations since mid-September.  Among them:

-I am love.

-We are all love.

I say them as I go to sleep.  I say them when I wake. I even say them, like counting sheep, in the middle of the night when I am having difficulty going back to sleep. I say them when I am out walking.  Most predictably, I say them when I am walking to the Metro Station and while I wait for my train in the morning .  Mine is a fairly busy station at 7 a.m., and as I silently say those affirmations, I often look from face to face, remembering that each is love. I often "send love" in their direction.

For some reason today, I had a recollection from at least 15 years ago.  An outlet in my bathroom wasn't working, so I called an electrician.  He said there was nothing wrong with it.  Then he explained that my problem was with what, I believe, he called the grounded outlet.  Apparently, there is one outlet in a house that controls all the others.  If that one doesn't work, then none of them do.  The grounded outlet is what controls whether electricity will flow to the others.  My grounded outlet was on the front porch.

Because I lived in a town home at the time, the outside outlet was property of the homeowners association, and they had to get someone else to fix it.  Sure enough, as soon as the grounded outlet was fixed, electricity flowed to the rest of the house.

This electrical adventure occurred when I was writing Choice Point, and everything seemed to feed my understanding of how the world works. It occurred to me that each of us could become something like the ground outlet, except instead of controlling the flow of electricity we control the flow of love.  I can control the flow of love.

Amidst trains coming and going and a steady stream of waiting passengers arriving in the station, I had that thought again...and then continued to play with the thought when I got on the train and looked around the crowded car.  I can control the flow of love.  The first thought I had was of me flowing love outward to others, but in truth, I suspect that it works the other way.  If I become open and vulnerable, I can let love flow into me.  It can't flow out until I first receive it. I am the one who determines whether love flows through me or stops at my margins.

The "V" word...again.  Vulnerable.  What courage it takes to receive love--to lay myself open to receive.  Yet the ability to connect all of humankind through a ribbon of love hangs in the balance.  I am not sure that I have ever allowed myself to be that vulnerable....ever...certainly not since I was an infant.  To just allow the love of another human  being (or many human beings) to wash over me and for me to just lie there defenseless and take it--take in all the love flowing toward me.  It may be everywhere, and I haven't been able to see it.

That's a picture being turned upside down.  The flow of love toward me isn't dependent on what others send but on what I am willing to receive.  That may be what life is about: what am I willing to receive?  Gifts? Joy? Love? Help? All the things that fill us up, and I can control whether I get them, just by being willing to receive.

The Forgiveness of All Humankind

Almost three months ago, I adopted a new set of eight spiritual statements upon which to focus my spiritual growth during this dark half of the year.  At least several times a day, and sometimes many times a day, I say and reflect upon these affirmations.  Something shifted yesterday.  As I was saying them, suddenly one took on new meaning.  I've had this happen before.  My understanding has to get deep enough for me to truly "get it." I find it a bit like looking at something, which has been in the shadows, but which the sun has finally reached: wow! all the color, dimension and intricacies that I missed when it was in the semi-darkness.

Yesterday, the statement  "My work is the forgiveness of all humankind" shifted. Since I write, speak, and coach, I have been thinking that I was supposed to encourage people with whom I come in contact to forgive people in their lives.  The idea, I thought, was that if enough people forgave enough others that eventually all humankind would be forgiven.

As I've sunk more and more deeply into this spiritual learning, a different meaning has revealed itself to me.  To paraphrase, sometimes it is all about me.  Yesterday's revelation was that I am supposed to forgive everyone with whom I have ever come in contact, no matter how big or small their grievance.  At first doing so didn't really seem like such a big deal.  I regularly "purge" myself of grudges, resentments, and anger with forgiveness.  I don't think that I harbor much.  People in my life who have committed egregious offenses have not only be forgiven but forgotten as well. I even forgive myself from time to time, although I admit that I am not nearly as good about self-forgiveness.

Consequently, I am not sure why forgiving all humankind seems like such big deal, besides the fact that "all humankind" is a whole boat load of people.  As I've meditated on this, the spheres of influence on forgiveness have broadened.  Not just people who have done things to me, but resentments I may carry about violations of others are included.  Then, there was the wave about people who have committed destructive acts to the planet and even crimes against humanity. Of course, with my personal interest in politics, there are plenty of politicians that could do with some forgiving. There are also the historical violations of our individual and collective ancestors, such as slavery, the treatment of Native Americans in the US, and the near extinction of many species.  You get the idea.  The more I sit with it, the more I am able to see just how much in the world is to be forgiven. 

I am certain that this forgiveness of all humankind is the work of a lifetime.  I expect that in the time during which I forgive one or two that a dozen more acts will have been committed to be forgiven.  If I really think about it, I am overwhelmed, so I just don't think about it...at least not in a worrisome way.  If I did, I'd have to forgive myself for worrying.  I am still trying to just be with how this plays out, but I sense that at the end, I will be back in that most alluring spot: being present.  With nothing to pull me into the past or the future, here I am...now...present.

I believe I've mentioned before that spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss has said our most important spiritual work is to be present.  As I explore the many dimensions of spiritual growth and learning, all roads seem to lead back to being present.  It makes sense that if we get to the place where we can truly be present in the present, we would have mastered many other spiritual lessons along the way.
For now, it seems to me that the dimension of being present with which I am currently engaged is to forgive...and forgive...and forgive some more.