Would you be willing...to just let go?
One of the regular readers of this blog and I were talking about just surrendering to the guidance we received. The words "Would you be willing..." echoed in my head as we talked. They have haunted me as a non-musical earworm all evening. Mother Teresa's name came up. Would I be willing to go and work in squalor in Calcutta with people in such dire conditions? We also mentioned working with refugees in Lebanon and caring for the injured in Syria. How about caring for those suffering from ebola in West Africa?
There was a time when I am certain that I would have dropped everything to go wherever I was called. After losing my business and having struggled to get back on my feet financially, I feel like I must have a "regular day job" at this time in my life. The particular regular day job I have has me so booked up that in order to have 10 days vacation I had to schedule it six months in advance. I am not sure how I would drop everything and go.
Yet, I know that is what I should do. I'd like to say that it was easier for people who dropped everything to do God's work in biblical times, but the truth probably is that it wasn't. They didn't have to worry about mortgages and funding retirement to support themselves if they lived to be 100, but I suspect their existences were far more on the edge. Walking away to serve has probably never really been easy. I am certain they didn't have paid vacations to worry about scheduling.
For decades I've thought that when I retire that I would serve, but now it looks like I may never retire. In the years when I was writing and speaking, I truly felt like I was showing up to serve just as God would have me do. My friend reminds me that how I do what I do now is serving. It rarely feels that way.
This blog is about living with the intention to do what you know is right in your heart...or more accurately, it is about me living with the intention to do what I know is right in my heart. I hope others will be inspired to share the journey. I wish I could say that I am doing that. However, in something like the keyboard equivalent of a Freudian slip, when I wrote two lines above "to do what I know," what came out my fingers was "what I know is write in my heart." Maybe that is the answer. Will I be willing to make writing my intention because I certainly know in my heart that is right for me?
Showing posts with label willingness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label willingness. Show all posts
Monday, December 15, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
The Grounded Outlet
You will recall that I've been working a set of affirmations since mid-September. Among them:
I say them as I go to sleep. I say them when I wake. I even say them, like counting sheep, in the middle of the night when I am having difficulty going back to sleep. I say them when I am out walking. Most predictably, I say them when I am walking to the Metro Station and while I wait for my train in the morning . Mine is a fairly busy station at 7 a.m., and as I silently say those affirmations, I often look from face to face, remembering that each is love. I often "send love" in their direction.
For some reason today, I had a recollection from at least 15 years ago. An outlet in my bathroom wasn't working, so I called an electrician. He said there was nothing wrong with it. Then he explained that my problem was with what, I believe, he called the grounded outlet. Apparently, there is one outlet in a house that controls all the others. If that one doesn't work, then none of them do. The grounded outlet is what controls whether electricity will flow to the others. My grounded outlet was on the front porch.
Because I lived in a town home at the time, the outside outlet was property of the homeowners association, and they had to get someone else to fix it. Sure enough, as soon as the grounded outlet was fixed, electricity flowed to the rest of the house.
This electrical adventure occurred when I was writing Choice Point, and everything seemed to feed my understanding of how the world works. It occurred to me that each of us could become something like the ground outlet, except instead of controlling the flow of electricity we control the flow of love. I can control the flow of love.
Amidst trains coming and going and a steady stream of waiting passengers arriving in the station, I had that thought again...and then continued to play with the thought when I got on the train and looked around the crowded car. I can control the flow of love. The first thought I had was of me flowing love outward to others, but in truth, I suspect that it works the other way. If I become open and vulnerable, I can let love flow into me. It can't flow out until I first receive it. I am the one who determines whether love flows through me or stops at my margins.
The "V" word...again. Vulnerable. What courage it takes to receive love--to lay myself open to receive. Yet the ability to connect all of humankind through a ribbon of love hangs in the balance. I am not sure that I have ever allowed myself to be that vulnerable....ever...certainly not since I was an infant. To just allow the love of another human being (or many human beings) to wash over me and for me to just lie there defenseless and take it--take in all the love flowing toward me. It may be everywhere, and I haven't been able to see it.
That's a picture being turned upside down. The flow of love toward me isn't dependent on what others send but on what I am willing to receive. That may be what life is about: what am I willing to receive? Gifts? Joy? Love? Help? All the things that fill us up, and I can control whether I get them, just by being willing to receive.
-I am love.
-We are all love.
I say them as I go to sleep. I say them when I wake. I even say them, like counting sheep, in the middle of the night when I am having difficulty going back to sleep. I say them when I am out walking. Most predictably, I say them when I am walking to the Metro Station and while I wait for my train in the morning . Mine is a fairly busy station at 7 a.m., and as I silently say those affirmations, I often look from face to face, remembering that each is love. I often "send love" in their direction.
For some reason today, I had a recollection from at least 15 years ago. An outlet in my bathroom wasn't working, so I called an electrician. He said there was nothing wrong with it. Then he explained that my problem was with what, I believe, he called the grounded outlet. Apparently, there is one outlet in a house that controls all the others. If that one doesn't work, then none of them do. The grounded outlet is what controls whether electricity will flow to the others. My grounded outlet was on the front porch.
Because I lived in a town home at the time, the outside outlet was property of the homeowners association, and they had to get someone else to fix it. Sure enough, as soon as the grounded outlet was fixed, electricity flowed to the rest of the house.
This electrical adventure occurred when I was writing Choice Point, and everything seemed to feed my understanding of how the world works. It occurred to me that each of us could become something like the ground outlet, except instead of controlling the flow of electricity we control the flow of love. I can control the flow of love.
Amidst trains coming and going and a steady stream of waiting passengers arriving in the station, I had that thought again...and then continued to play with the thought when I got on the train and looked around the crowded car. I can control the flow of love. The first thought I had was of me flowing love outward to others, but in truth, I suspect that it works the other way. If I become open and vulnerable, I can let love flow into me. It can't flow out until I first receive it. I am the one who determines whether love flows through me or stops at my margins.
The "V" word...again. Vulnerable. What courage it takes to receive love--to lay myself open to receive. Yet the ability to connect all of humankind through a ribbon of love hangs in the balance. I am not sure that I have ever allowed myself to be that vulnerable....ever...certainly not since I was an infant. To just allow the love of another human being (or many human beings) to wash over me and for me to just lie there defenseless and take it--take in all the love flowing toward me. It may be everywhere, and I haven't been able to see it.
That's a picture being turned upside down. The flow of love toward me isn't dependent on what others send but on what I am willing to receive. That may be what life is about: what am I willing to receive? Gifts? Joy? Love? Help? All the things that fill us up, and I can control whether I get them, just by being willing to receive.
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