Big Chunks and Little Ones

Last week when I was re-reading The Game Called Life, I paid particular attention when "guardian angel" Helen helped Lizzie figure out how she could manage resolving many broken commitments. "Take on the big chunks first, and then work in the smaller tasks around the edges as you have time," was the gist.

I do have several big projects that require a lot of time, and I've been being frustrated that I can't get to my sorting project.  Last night I had enough time when getting ready to go dancing to try on several dance outfits that I really like but haven't worn for a while.  With each, I figured out why I hadn't worn them for a while.  While I like them, for one reason or another, each just didn't look good on me any more...if it ever did.  I quickly accumulated quite a stack.

Today, I finished a course assignment 10 minutes before a conference call.  After a quick bio break, I took eight minutes and was able to sort through one whole shelf of books.  I am still not sure that I want to keep all the books that made the first cut, but I was able to par two of one of my favorite books down to the marked copy and five organizational behavior textbooks down to two. I have a stack of books a foot high that are going. When I have more clarity about the future, I can decide whether keeping any makes sense, but this winnowing is progress.

Before going to the grocery this evening, I took a minute at the pantry to throw out more gifts that have been sitting there for years. I also started reading labels more carefully and found some ingredients that don't fit with the health coach role. And, I started eating out of my freezer.

Years ago I recall coaching a man who had purchased a piece of land many years earlier to build his dream home, but because of children in college and related expenses, he lived on the property in an old, beat-up mobile home that he hated.  Working together, we identified a list of things that he could do to make progress toward the new home that didn't cost much money, but they would allow him to make progress.  Finally, when the daughters graduated, he was in a position to frame in the dream home and begin doing finish work on the weekends.  I could see a real shift in his self-image as soon as he saw that his living situation was a vehicle instead of a rut that he might never escape.

Although I live a pretty busy life, every day I fritter away a few minutes here and a few minutes there because these little bits of time between activities don't seem sufficient to accomplish anything meaningful.  Today I was reminded that if we stay with our intentions, we can really do a lot in little bits around the "big chunks" in our lives.  Eventually, all the little pieces add up and take us where we want to go.

Rule No. 1: I don't have to keep gifts

December 21 has come and gone. Somewhere about the 15th I knew that I wasn't going to have time to go through every single thing in my house to assess what is part of the future during the busyness of the holidays.  In lieu of actually doing the manual sort, I made clear commitments to my intentions: what would and would not be part of my future.  Among the commitments I made was to include beliefs, attitudes, and habits.

My day start with an email exchange with an old friend about refusing gifts to avoid the commercialization of Christmas.  I started about 25 years ago by asking friends to give to charity in lieu of giving me gifts.  That didn't fly at all.  Now two and a half decades later, I continue to tell people that I don't need or want "stuff." I would be delighted, I tell them, with the gift of time: a walk, a cup of coffee, cooking together, or a movie and popcorn on the couch after the holidays have passed...or anything else that they'd like to do.  I don't see nearly enough of my friends: spending time with them would be a gift I'd really like to receive...and it doesn't clutter my tiny apartment.

The paper today shared a practice of giving something to charity for everything that we receive.  The example was that if you got a new pair of shoes, you had to give a pair away.  Or, if a child got two toys, he/she had to give two toys away.  If I do keep gifts, I think I will discipline myself to give away in replacement.

Perhaps it is because I've had the accumulation of gifts on my mind that this evening I had an aha! moment when I opened my medicine cabinet which is bulging at the seams.  I surveyed all the stuff in it and realized that I hadn't bought most of it.  Often when I buy cosmetics, I am gifted with a package of generous-sized samples of fairly expensive products.  Some of them I do use, and I am grateful for travel-sized versions of products that I usually purchase for my travel bag.  However, most of the products are not ones I will use.

As I assessed the contents of my cabinet this evening, I started pulling off all the stuff that I know I won't use, didn't want in the first place, and don't want.  Just because someone gives me something doesn't mean I have to keep it.  I haven't taken the time to do so on this eve of Christmas Eve to go through other cabinets and drawers, but I am certain that just following the rule that I don't have to keep gifts will liberate me from a heap of stuff.

Now, I realize that it will be much easier to throw away gifts from Estee Lauder or Clinique than gifts that were given to me by friends, but it isn't like I don't tell them every year that I don't want stuff.  I already spotted homemade food gifts that don't particularly appeal to me.  They will be a good place to start cleaning.

What joy this discovery has made me!  Perhaps this is the gift that I really wanted for Christmas this year: spiritual housecleaning -- freedom to be relieved of the burden of unwanted stuff.