Have a Story to Tell

Last winter an artist friend created a wonderful collage which she then cut into pieces and shared with many of her friends.  I have loved my own piece. (See blogpost, January 5 of this year, "Pieces of the Whole" to see the collage.  http://youknowinyourheart.blogspot.com/2014/01/pieces-of-whole.html)

When I was cleaning my desk last weekend, I found a different piece of the collage, sent to me by a mutual friend of the artist's and my own.  Featured prominently in the piece she had sent were the words, "Have a Story to Tell."  

I really don't remember when she sent this to me; she frequently gifts me with little timely mementos.  The fact that I don't remember getting this usually means I wasn't ready to do something with it until now.  "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear," kind of thing.  It is now displayed prominently on my desk, and I've been sitting on this for over a week.   Almost every day, sometimes multiple times, I look at it and think, "What is the story I want to tell?"

Last winter I stalled on writing my memoir after over 100 pages because I couldn't figure out what the story was.  It felt like a bunch of anecdotes.  There were commonalities: resilience, overcoming, persevering, spiritual learning and growth, but what was I trying to communicate in this book?  I wish I could say that I have the answer, but as I've pondered "Have a Story to Tell" over the last week, I still don't know the answer.

What has become increasingly clear is that we can use the same words and relate the same events, but based on the story we want to tell, they can take on vastly different meanings.  For instance, this weekend presents an example.  In the last week, my less-than-two-years-old-but-off-warranty refrigerator, my food processor (mandatory equipment for a foodie like me,) and my rather expensive computer battery for my five-year-old computer have all sent up the message that they are not long for this world.  Depending on whether I replace the expensive battery or the aging computer, these three items could easily cost me over $1,000.

What is the story I could tell about those somewhat objective facts?  If I wanted to be a victim, I could say that just as I've gotten myself out of a financial hole and where I can start saving for retirement again, the Universe is unloading on me...again.  The story could be: "You just can't win."

Or, I could tell the story that "At least things have held off until I was in a position to be able to replace them."  The story might be: "Whew! Just dodged a bullet, but it isn't safe to exhale yet."

Still another story might be that I reached out to friends and discovered less expensive alternatives, which won't totally solve my problems, but which will extend the life of these items so that I can plan replacement and not pay for them all at once.  (Actually, I got a real bargain on a food processor, and since I know my priorities, I did spring for that replacement right away.)

Which is true?  They all are, of course.  But the one that I attach myself to will influence my attitude toward life.  Do I want to be a victim? Then Story One will be the one I choose.  Do I want to feel supported by my friends and the Universe and feel empowered to control what is thrown my way? Then Story Three is my choice.  I am choosing Story Three.

As I look at this beautiful three by six-inch piece of collage with "Have a Story to Tell," featuring prominently, I am reminded I cannot control what comes my way, but I am always of choice about the meaning I assign what comes my way.

What is the story I want to tell about my life?  I am still working on that one, but knowing that I assign the meaning may have just taken me one step closer to the answer.