Self-Care

When I sat down to write this evening, I asked myself, "What is the most authentic thing that I can write about tonight?"  The answer: self-care.

I am now halfway through my staycation.  I started with two days of meditation.  I read a lot on Monday, had a job interview, and then planned a couple dinners for friends.  Tuesday was my "spa day"--not at a real spa, but I allowed myself to be pampered at my usual nail salon with a couple extra services.  On the tail of a visit to my chiropractor, it was delicious.  I had no idea how long I was in the place until I left and was shocked at how quickly the time had passed.

This morning I walked to a gluten-free bakery, and my freezer is now nicely stocked with treats for times when I don't have 40 minutes to walk from the Metro to the bakery and back.  As I treated myself to a chocolate croissant in the shop, I was reminded of a section in Authentic Happiness when author Marty Seligman described habituation and how we could enrich our lives by practices that help us avoid being habituated to special pleasures in our lives.  That's a fancy term for learning how to be really present to life's pleasures.

The idea is that the more we experience a pleasure, the less pleasurable it becomes.  The first wonderful bite, being completely present to the sensation and even the sound of my teeth breaking through the crispy layers of buttery pastry is the most pleasurable.  That is especially true for me since it has been 8-9 months since I've made the journey to the bakery.  (My wheat allergy limits the sources from which I can acquire such treats.)

Perhaps it is because I have been waiting for three-quarters of a year to experience a chocolate croissant, but I really let myself savor every decadent bite.  Quite frankly, I was distressed at how much of the time I just snarf my lunch down in a rush between meetings, and I fail to derive real pleasure from my food. Add to the to-do list: really enjoy my food.

This afternoon I indulged myself with a 90-minute massage.  When I arrived, my massage therapist and I remarked about how long it had been.  How long had it been, I wondered?  I think it was my birthday in 2014, which is 14 months ago.  Really?!  I think so.  However long, it has been too long.

Sue is a real artist with my body, and she nursed me back to mobility a few years ago when I was struck by a car when I was crossing the street.  She had her work cut out for here today. Even after five days away from work, my body was clinging to tension like a long lost friend.  Sue had her way with every bit of it.  My knees were like Jello as I made my way the short half-block home.  When I did, I fell onto a lounge chair, and I was asleep instantly.  I don't think I slept all that long, but I awakened I energetic and alert.  I felt great.

I should not have been surprised, then, when I got "self-care" as the topic for today.  Partially because the time in which we live, and in part because we are Americans deeply steeped in the Protestant work ethic, many of us aren't comfortable taking care of ourselves.  If we aren't being productive and multi-tasking several activities, we feel we are falling short. I am definitely one.

I totally own the Protestant work ethic thing.  If it isn't in my genes, I was socialized to it from infancy long before smartphones and the expectation of constant productivity.  Yet, today I was reminded that it is really important to take some time every now and then and just indulge and renew ourselves...in the way that Seligman would have us experience pleasures--being present and savoring every minute, while avoiding habituation.

And, I shouldn't have to be taking a vacation at home to allow myself to do so.  Before I sleep tonight, I will put several reminders on my calendar over the next few months to schedule time with Sue.  I probably shouldn't need to put reminders on my calendar to take care of myself, but if that is what it takes to assure self-care, reminders it is.