The First Day of Class

As a youngster, I always looked forward to the start of school, and my first encounter with insomnia came the night before the first day of school.  I'd be so excited that I couldn't possibly go to sleep. Not much has changed for me.  Today was the first day of my Psychology of Happiness class.  While I did sleep last night, I was just as excited. My passion for learning sparked yet again. Up earlier than usual this morning, I completed my chores had been completed 90 minutes before the start of class. I was eager and waiting.

There are so many ways that I am grateful for this class, and I'm particularly happy that I delayed my March start of this class until this group.  As we did our class introductions, almost ever one of us spoke of "resilience" as the trait that we are most proud of, and all of us shared that we'd had to overcome major, multiple, and even recurring challenges in life. About two-thirds of the way through introductions, one of my new classmates said we must all be related--from the same family.  We are certainly kindred spirits, who seemed to bond almost immediately.

Like many first classes, this one started with a high-level overview, and we will drill down into each topic as the course proceeds.  For this class, the overview revealed "Seven Habits of Happiness":

• Quality relationships
• Caring & acts of kindness
• Physical health
• Flow
• Character strengths & virtues
• Spiritual engagement
• Positive Mindset

Even though this was the survey class, I immediately recognized how these seven topics and the characteristics within each splendidly tied together many aspects of life with which I've struggled.  We were asked to pick one of these to focus on for the duration of the class. Intuitively, I knew "physical health" was the one for me.  As frequent readers will recall, I've struggled with allowing work to squeeze exercise out of my daily routine, and I've wrestled with my sugar addiction.  My desire to be present significantly impacts several aspects of my health.  Doing my physical therapy exercises daily greatly influences the level of pain with which I live. 

As my day began to wind down, I reflected on this list of happiness habits, and I thought about how powerful my intention is when I really put my mind to something, most certainly the foundation of my resilience.  I knew specific things that I want to do for each of the areas, except "Flow."  

I know "flow" well: it is that state in which we are having so much joy with what we are doing that we lose track of time and consciousness.  It requires a high skill level and equally high challenge.  Flow requires that we really care about what we are doing. The possibility to "win" must be present.  

The place in my life in which I am most predictably in "flow" is when I write.  When writing Leading from the Heart, I would often find that it was getting dark outside on long summer days when I began to get tired, the first experience I'd had of being conscious since sitting down to write, maybe 8 to 10 hours earlier.  I wouldn't eat, drink, or go to the bathroom, not due to deprivation, but because I was really out of my body and unable to experience the signs of bodily needs.  

Similarly, I recall one day when writing The Game Called Life, a book that I finished in five days, I actually wrote 32 pages in one day.  With my conscious logical mind, I have absolutely no concept how I did that, but I truly surrendered to my flow state.

I've experienced flow in other places in my life--when gardening, when dancing, occasionally when cooking, often when coaching, and sometimes when working on designs for my organization development (OD) work.  Currently, I am encountering impediments to the flow state in most of these areas of my life.  The northern exposure of my balcony garden makes "winning" almost impossible. (My neighbor warned me, but hope springs eternal.) I rarely have a dance partner any more who challenges me.  My OD design work is often not challenging, and when it is, there are so many interruptions that getting to that place where I lose consciousness is impossible.

Lest you think this is a lot of grumbling and complaining, it is not.  In my heart of hearts, I know that I can experience flow every single day just by choosing it.  Every time I write this blog, I fall into a flow state.  Yet, with increasing frequency, I have chosen to let the demands of longer and longer days on the job push writing out of my day.  A week ago, I had a really good idea for a post and even wrote myself a note so I wouldn't lose the thought.  By the time that I found energy to write Thursday evening, I sat staring at the note with no recollection at all of my earlier inspiration.

I have no illusions that taking this class will transform all of my bad habits, or that I will miraculously find the energy and will to write at the end of a 12-hour day.  However, there is one thing about intention about which I have become very clear: it is like target practice.  If I miss the bulls-eye, I aim again and give it another shot. Over time, I become more and more consistent at reaching my intention.  There are aspects of my life that 30 years ago I would have been shocked to learn that I now do quite consistently.  My hope is that looking back to 2015 in another 25 or 30 years, I will see that the things with which I struggle today have become happy habits in my life.