Lazy Summer Day

Saturday I had a wonderful lazy afternoon with a dear friend.  We lunched ever so slowly on my balcony, enjoying a little prosecco as we looked at some art photos she had developed and talked of both past and anticipated travel adventures. We luxuriated on a comfortably warm, late summer afternoon. We also spoke of challenges and deeper things.

Tonight I shared a bi-weekly call with another friend.  For the first bit I was walking as we talked, and then I found a shady park bench and just enjoyed the conversation.  We chatted of triumphs, challenges, and, aware of the coming Jewish New Year, of hopes for the year ahead.

One of the Seven Habits of Happiness in the class I just completed is "Relationships." The first habit we explored in the class, it is the one in which I feel the greatest void. I've truly pondered how I can fix that situation, but I can't resurrect family members that are no longer with us. When I've moved, although friends have said they would come and visit, each time only one has actually done that--one time. One of the prices I've paid for needing to start over again later in life by moving to a new city is that at a certain stage in life my contemporaries are solidly in long-term relationships.  I have a few friends who are there occasionally, but the truth is that they are infrequent relationships.

These were the first times since my class that I spent time with friends.  With each, I really savored our time together.  While I often rush from one event in my life to another without really enjoying any of it, in these times I was present, totally in the moment, mindful, and grateful--all habits of happiness.

As a definite introvert, I more often than not go through life happily alone, but my class and time on Saturday heightened my awareness of how relationships enrich my life, so instead of slipping into church, participating in worship, and quietly slipping out the side door as I usually do, yesterday I made a point to introduce myself to a couple I hadn't seen or talked to before. Today, I went out of my way to talk with someone in my office that I usually just greet in passing.

I believe that my happiness boils down to holding myself accountable.  Taking a class won't do it unless I act on what I have learned, and this week I've really learned how important relationships are. I am holding myself accountable for creating more of them.