Into each of our lives fall some people who are very special. In almost an instant, we know who those people are. In the "shoulds" of the world, we "should" hold those people very close and never, ever let go. Perhaps it is the vantage point of having crossed more than a few birthdays that gives me that wisdom. It should be a no-brainer, but apparently, for me, it wasn't.
Although my college roommate is probably my closest friend in the world, and the one that I have hung onto most closely over the years, there were many of calendars that came and went without more than a phone conversation. Whenever we have had a rendezvous, it was always like we'd just dropped off the day before, but they just didn't happen often enough. Last fall we had the opportunity to spend a few days together, and I realized that we should really make a point to spend more time together.
Through the miracle of modern technology, we've been walking and talking together--a joint effort to exercise regularly, as well as stay connected. We are doing it through our smartphones. We both walk in different states, but do so while talking to each other. I've been savoring those work-outs. Last week I scheduled to visit her again in the late spring. I am really looking forward to it.
At the end of this month, I will spend time with one of those special people. When we visit and try to explain to others why we are such good friends, it makes no sense. Just something clicked in the beginning and we're fast friends. The fact that she has brought to beautiful little girls into the world that I adore is just a bonus.
I am getting a second chance at another one of those very special relationships. I can't tell you exactly when we drifted apart, but the how is that I let my life get too busy for people who were very special to me. It wasn't a conscious decision. I was too busy for a call or too busy to plan a visit. From their perspective, I can imagine it might have seemed that when I got married and moved to another town that I had moved beyond the relationship. That really wasn't true at all.
Before I knew it, 20 years had passed...then more. I wanted to reach out but really agonized about what to say that would make 20 years of non-communication seem OK, because there was nothing about it that was OK. A year or two ago I made the decision that there was no way I could make it OK, and if I wanted to see these people again, I had to swallow my pride, reach out, and simply say I was sorry. I thought it was better to write. I got no response. Considering that I hadn't been communicating all that time, that seemed reasonable.
When the right season came, I sent a Christmas card. Silence. I'd long since forgotten birthdays. I waited hopefully but not expectedly.
A few months ago, I received a Facebook friend request. I accepted. I really don't do much with Facebook, but this was a way to reestablish contact. Over a few months of sporadic Facebook communications, I discovered we still had the same things in common that had first brought us together.
Yesterday, she sent out a post of a picture of her husband, also a close friend, marking a landmark birthday with their youngest granddaughter on his lap. I responded. Tonight we talked for an hour. Just as with the roommate, it was like we'd seen each other yesterday. At the end of the conversation was the most sincere "We love you!" that I can imagine. I teared up. How could I have drifted so far from this important relationship?
I am not sure how it happened, but as I write this, I am still full of warm fuzzies. I am also savoring the wisdom to hang on for dear life to people that are very special. In the end, the relationships we have are really all we have.
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