My Own Personal Genius

After church yesterday, I came in and flipped on the local NPR station as I often do. I listen as I cook. Radiolab was mid-show when I tuned in, so I don't have a lot of context for what came earlier.  I was, however, absolutely fascinated by two interviews about the creative process.  The first was with a musician, who shall remain nameless because I tuned in mid-interview and can't find it on the web. The other was with best-selling author Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame.

My fascination was with their separate descriptions of controlling the creative process--what I will describe as managing the muse.  Gilbert described the difference in how we talk about "genius," as something a person is, opposed to what the ancient Greeks did, which was something we have.  Having a genius feels rich, maybe even decadent.  Having a genius at my personal disposal offers limitless possibilities.

Both artists described talking to the muse as something one masters. The musician described being in heavy traffic when a marvelous song just came to him.  He said that he told the muse, or as Gilbert would say the genius, that it was obvious that he was in traffic and couldn't capture the song.  He ordered it to come back when he could write it down, if it was to be his song...and it did.  He literally acted as if the muse was his servant.

Gilbert told similar stories, but I was most interested in the one about the title of her popular Eat, Pray, Love book.  She said throughout the writing and even through editing and proofing she could only come up with a "working title" that she knew wasn't right.  She told of an extensive process of soliciting input from many friends, but she knew that none of them were correct.  It was only when she told her muse to give her a title that she awakened the next morning with Eat, Pray, Love, and instantly knew it was the title for which she'd been waiting.

This grabbed my attention because I have had a compelling relationship with titles of my books, both written and those still incubating. I have often had the inspiration for a book that felt like it wanted to pour out of me right now but inconveniences of daily life, like earning my paycheck, got in the way.  Unlike Gilbert, I most often get the title before I get the book.  Years ago I started a folder on my computer called "Books in the Making," and when I had one of these inspirations, I'd start a new document and write a paragraph or two to jog my memory when I have time to write.

It's not like I have had an excess of writing time in recent years, but on the occasions when I have set aside writing time, reading the files has not recaptured the energy of the inspiration that I'd had earlier.  In fact, if I can remember any of it, what remains is a lukewarm trite topic.  Where was the idea that was so great?

I am truly intrigued by the concept of ordering "my genius" to hold that energy and come back to me when I have time to at least write a chapter or two to warm the groove.  I can promise you that I will do so the next time I have an inspiration.  In the meantime, I expect that I will need to build a little "mastering my genius" muscle to figure out how to make the concept work for me, but doing so is a task that I am up to.  In fact, I am actually looking forward to it.  Do you suppose I can name "my genius?"

"If a Tree Falls,..."

There is an oft-quoted question, "If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" (George Berkeley)  There are those who would say that if there is no one to witness the fall, the tree falling down doesn't make a sound.  Others would argue that, of course, a tree falling makes a sound; whether someone hears it is moot.  We will never know for sure.  The heart of the matter is whether something exists without a witness.

For me, on this day, this is a poignant question.  For over a month, I've been keeping my commitment to write a daily post to this blog, exploring the spiritual questions and bits of wisdom I encounter on my path.  It has been rich for me.  It is a spiritual practice. 

Today it has been 10 days since anyone has read my blog.  Without witnesses, like the tree falling in the forest, I wonder if my Voice has been muted.  Is my exercise a vain one? There are really two answers to this question.  Both start with "no."

Answer One: No; it is not a vain exercise.  Spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss has talked about having a "prayer chakra," something like a prayer bank account.  If we faithfully make deposits every day, someday when we really need it and call on God for help, we will have a well-tuned connection.  I am faithfully showing up, and will continue to faithfully show up, to make deposits. Think of writing this blog as not only developing my writing muscle, but making deposits to my spiritual bank account.

Answer Two: No; it is not a vain exercise.  My soul has been greatly enriched.  Each day I learn, or more often remember, things I didn't know or had forgotten.  I am becoming truer to myself.  I have been awakened from my autopilot existence.  If no one ever reads it, writing the blog is doing the three things that Helen in The Game Called Life said that life was really about.  It is helping me to develop my gifts, in this case for writing.  It is helping me to grow spiritually and learn spiritual lessons. It is available to be of service to the evolution of the Universe when the time is right.  Writing this blog is why I am here...in this life.  That is real.

I have no idea about that tree falling in the forest, but I do know that whatever we do to help ourselves be more whole is enough.  The very act of writing and becoming more whole is having an impact on the world.  So, I will keep writing....

Helpers

I've learned a lot this week from working on the book I wrote.  Almost every page has seemed to offer a spiritual lesson that I'd been choosing to ignore.  Just yesterday I was reading/writing about spiritual helpers--those people who are in our lives to help us learn spiritual lessons, to perform spiritual service, and to encourage development and use our gifts and talents. 

Sometime they are people who are there in an obviously helping way.  My friend Amy Frost has been one of my biggest cheerleaders since we met after she read Leading from the Heart right after it came out in 1996. She has done more to bring The Game Called Life into the world than anyone. Thanks, Aim!

Other times our spiritual helpers are difficult people in our lives, but they present us with lessons we need to know but with which we struggle.  I find it extremely difficult to make the leap from intellectualizing that they are spiritual helpers there for me to actually being grateful for their challenging presences in my life. There are a couple in my life right now, but I won't mention any of them by name.  I will say that my friend Evelin was sent as a spiritual helper to support me in some of those lessons.

Often spiritual helpers show up in a most unusual way in our lives.  I met Amy in the elevator at a conference in Mexico when she recognized my name as the author of the book she'd just read on my name badge. Another reader/helper ended up appearing in my life over Easter Dinner at her daughter's home, both of us from very different parts of the country brought together at a still different part of the country to provide me encouragement at a time when I really needed it.

Most of the time, we don't recognize spiritual helpers as such.  They are just people in our lives.  Today I talked with a spiritual helper that I was certain was there as a spiritual helper even as we spoke for the first time.  Darwin Gillett and I have communicated by email for at least a couple years, but we couldn't remember how we knew each other.  We had a conversation that would not have happened if I had not been furloughed.  He had shared by email that he's between books and wants to refocus his business more specifically about the role of heart in building an effective business.  Since that is something I did for many years, I thought I might have some useful thoughts to share, and I had time to actually talk with him this week.

The miracle occurred as I spoke with him.  I needed to hear what I was saying to him about allowing the business to grow organically, the right people finding me, and listening to my heart.  I spoke about how totally aligned I'd felt when I was writing, speaking, coaching, and consulting. I am so grateful for this furlough and so grateful I decided to reach out to him.  As we spoke, I finally honored my knowing that I have several books to get out.  Choice Point has been gathering dust since the late 90s, and Leading from the Heart has been crying for a second edition since Butterworth-Heinemann closed the division that published it and The Alchemy of Fear over a decade ago. 

When I think about how lifeless and under-utilized I feel on my current job and how energized I've been this week, working on my blog and my e-book, it doesn't take a magician to figure out what I should be doing.  But, then there is that money thing.  I don't know how that part works out, but I do know that I am awake again. This afternoon I am able to feel who I AM again.  That's all I need to know for now.  I am confident a spiritual helper will come along to show me the way.