I was at a professional meeting over 20 years ago where we were engaged in dialogue, attempting to support each other in learning "the Truth." One executive said he had a simple rule about what to do in life: "Do what brings you to life and life to you." When I've pondered decisions and remembered to do so, it has proven good advice for me. I am amazed how often when there are two alternatives, almost always one sparks my heart, and the other leaves me feeling lifeless.
I think that what he was saying was to follow your heart because when I do, I am energized. Even when I've had no experience with something before, my heart will point me in the right direction.
As I faced the summer between the years of graduate school, I had two choices for internships. One was with a Fortune 100 company, would have paid well, and perhaps would have led to a permanent job after graduate school. The other was unpaid and with an unknown company. I sat with a counselor who simply asked me about the paid internship, "Is it a 'yes' or a 'no'?" In that instant, I knew: it was a "no."
That summer was among the most joyful in my life. In my work with the small unknown company, I was learning every day. The work allowed me independence in solving a very complex problem. What I learned that summer has served me well in the over 20 years since then. As I've learned more about myself since that time, I know I would have been spiritually dead in the other internship. Although it most certainly would have provided me a more lucrative and secure career track, it would have been a terrible mistake.
For my whole life, I've wanted to dance. As a kid, when my family was out of the house, I'd pull the drapes closed and twirl like a dervish. Nothing in my childhood brought more life to me. For a lot of reasons, I never pursued dance until a health crisis. When threatened with paraplegia, I knew the only thing I would have missed was dance. I came through the crisis with healthy life and limb. AND, I began to dance. Never, ever have I had more joy than when I dance. Time and space stop, and magic happens.
A torn hamstring has laid me low since September, and I haven't danced since then until last Sunday. On my doctor's advice, I only danced one or two songs and then sat out the same amount of time...and I left after an hour. That was really hard, but I knew that I needed to be prudent if I wanted to get back to a dance floor on a regular basis. Yet even only dancing for 30 minutes, I was aware of how alive I felt. Long after I left the ballroom, I felt like my heart was skipping a beat in a good way, and energy surged through me for a couple days.
I am going to give it a go again tonight...cautiously. Even though I know I must exercise control, my heart has raced all afternoon with anticipation. I truly do feel alive. And, just as I intuitively knew all those years before I danced that it was calling me, I know that this evening will jump start my aliveness again.
For many years I was pretty good at following my heart; then, our overly logical world gradually eroded the receivers of my heart's messages while deafening control from my head has taken control. As I contemplate an evening of dance again and how alive it will make me feel, I wonder how I soften the messages of my head while accentuating those from my heart again. As they always did before, I am certain that they will not fail me, even when I do not understand them. Somehow, they just know.
Today I am THINKING about how to prepare for the Dare to be Happy Challenge for the week...Topic: Living with Heart - The Experience...I AM STUCK...so I relaxed and chose one of your posts..that I have been saving like a special dessert I didn't want to not have until I could be in the space where my heart and soul could fully be into enJOYing. Your words: "I am amazed how often when there are two alternatives, almost always one sparks my heart, and the other leaves me feeling lifeless." I will go BE with my heart...let the sparks fly and I KNOW I will have guidance on next steps. PHEW...Thank YOU!!!
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