Could It Be Love?

Chapter Nine: Could It Be Love?

Funny that I should be led to the page of The Alchemy of Fear on Valentine's Day.  For whatever reason, I was.  A bit of a goose chase as it was, starting with my dream work from last night. When I translated the symbology, the message was clear. The quote at the front of this chapter captured it in English words:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us...We were born to manifest the glory of God within us...And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

The words are those of Marianne Williamson, but many people believe them to be from the late South African President Nelson Mandela because he quoted Williamson's words in his 1994 inaugural speech.

These are the words to which my dream led me this morning.  Without great detail, the images in my dream were of my power--great power--surrounding me on all sides, and I sat in sheer terror. Frozen. Afraid of my "power beyond measure." Afraid to let my light shine. But, the power was moving in on me, getting closer and closer, and as it did, the power seemed to increase.  And as it did, so did my fear.  Small wonder that I recalled this passage.

Only when I returned to the volume this evening to get the exact quotation did I realize that this--these haunting words--headed a chapter entitled "Could it be love?"

It has been said that we teach what we need to learn, and we write what we need to know.  Could it be that in this book, written 21 years ago--reaching the age of maturity, I was exploring the same spiritual questions that I am even today? Actually, it has been longer. As I am writing this, I recall a similar dream, recurring when I was younger.  Perhaps I've been working on this lesson my whole life.

On the second page of the chapter, I wrote, "The love...is an unconditional, universal love that spiritually connects us all through time and space. Time as we know it stops. A deep resonate peaceful energy seems to flow through us when we feel this kind of love. It is peaceful. It is joyful. It brings us to life with enthusiasm. We discover faith and trust."

The premise of the chapter is that there is only love and fear, and when we move beyond fear Universal love is what remains.  "Love is what life is about...Our purpose in life and work is to be love and bring more love into being."

My dream seemed to be saying, "Step into God's love and claim your power," and by so doing, make it safe for others to let their lights shine.  Before I can do that, though, I must look my fear in the eyes and move beyond into the "deep resonate peaceful energy" that "seems to flow through us." Apparently, I've been trying to do this for decades. I believe it is time for me to get over it.

Given the size of the power in my dream, the Universe is showing me that I can no longer run from it. My power will have its way with me, and I've fought the Universe on other things: it doesn't end well. The real power is in the surrender.  Surrender to God. Surrender to Love. I really know not what that means, but if I've been trying to learn this lesson most of my life, I would say it is time to hang on and find out.

On the 7th day God rested

I fell asleep while watching the evening news tonight--the 6:30 one. Really! All evening I fought it, knowing that I wanted to write a blog post. I kept falling asleep.

As I reflected on what I wanted to write, it came to me that, being Friday evening and all, the Sabbath was calling to me, literally and figuratively. Most religions recognize a day if rest. For the Abrahamic traditions this time recognized the rest which God took after creating our world. Eastern religions also have days of rest.

The days of rest were dedicated to quiet times that restore and reenergize us and renew our souls. They provided time to reconnect with loved ones and to read scriptures. When I was very young in the Midwest, stores weren't even open on Sundays. What a furor there was in the Bible Belt when that law changed. At the time, I thought it was silly; now, not so much.

For a number of years in midlife, I took a Sabbath. I'd sleep, pray, meditate, read spiritual books, and just before dusk, I'd walk two blocks to take a kundalini yoga class, often followed by dinner with a friend. I'd only eat simple foods that didn't require preparation. When I started my week, I did so with recharged batteries. I miss those days.

I can't tell you when I stopped observing the Sabbath. I never made a decision to stop. Somehow I just let one thing creep into my Sabbath and then another. Before I knew it, my Sabbath was gone, and I didn't even know it was gone.

I've come to believe that any practice that is common to many religious traditions is probably a good thing on a more Universal level. Like a Sabbath...If God needed to rest after working all week, why shouldn't I?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Going to school

My life has seemed to go in cycles.  For a few years life flows swimmingly.  Money, relationships, health, and career all work well. Then, for no apparent reason, one day it shifts, and life can be very difficult for the next few.  While I certainly think the easy times are much more fun, in truth, I am sure that the difficult ones are more important to the evolution of my soul. 

I think of the difficult times as when we are in "spiritual school."  It is easy to have faith when everything is easy. I have learned the most about faith when it is tested.  Like in the life of the Biblical Job, if we are able to remember that we are on a spiritual journey, we come out the other side stronger and closer to whatever we consider the divine.  When things really fall apart, we are going to spiritual graduate school.

When I was publishing a book each year, writing several newspaper columns, consulting globally, and delivering a reasonable number of keynote addresses, I had lots of people around me who loved me.  Then the economy went bust...and my business with it.  Suddenly, most of my "friends" evaporated.  I found out who my true friends were.  I would never have learned what makes a real friend without those times.

Similarly, I won't ever really learn about forgiveness and gratitude until I need to forgive someone for a particularly wicked deed and then take it one step further to expressing gratitude for the deed. Twenty years ago a friend and I would talk about "being in lesson" at moments like that.  We would know that there was a spiritual purpose for our challenging times.  The more challenging the times, the more we were sure we were "in lesson."

School goes in other cycles too.  A different friend and I were talking over dinner Sunday about the same lessons that seem to keep showing up in our lives every few years. In my belief system those repeating lessons are ones that our souls signed up to master.  But, with each cycle, we learn something different.

I am a bit reluctant to announce at this early stage, but I feel a difficult cycle is approaching an end.  You may recall that a few days ago, I wrote about feeling as if I were pregnant (11/2/12.)  I've been restless and keep feeling like I have been about to deliver something.  Today, I think my "baby" is an easier stage of life.  In several arenas in life, I feel little breakthroughs, harbingers of better times.  I feel as if it might almost be safe to relax.  Ah!

While I look forward to easier times, I am cognizant of being truly grateful for the years I've been "in spiritual school," maybe this time for a spiritual post-doc.