Affirmation of Intention

I am always amazed at what happens when I get really clear about my intentions. The Universe responds.

On the first of September, when I pledged to bring more balance into my life, I knew that I already had work commitments which will force my hours to continue to be long through mid-November. Yet I knew that I had to take better care of myself to survive. Opportunities just began falling onto my path.

I went to look for something related on Google and found a Laughter Yoga certification course being offered just a few blocks from my home Sunday before last. I signed up. I went and laughed for most of a day. It ends up that serious belly laughing not only feels good, but it is aerobic (who knew?) and good for the immune system. Since it had been a lovely day, I walked the 20 or so blocks to the class and home again. What a great start in adding balance.

You will also recall that I committed to starting the day with a "babbling brook" meditation (8/25), and the most amazing thing happened. But before that, a little background.

I am a natural night owl. My juices start flowing about 4 pm, and by 10:00 or 10:30, I am ready to rock and roll. My best time on my career was when I could work all night, either writing or working with clients in Asia into the wee hours. I would knock it off about 4:30 in the morning, go to the 24-hour gym to workout, and be ready to go to bed at 6 am. (Oh, how I lust for those days.)

So it should come as no surprise that my current schedule, which has pretty much been my workday schedule for a dozen years, of getting up between 4:30 and 5:30 a.m. really does not either optimize my natural cycle or personally delight me. I set two alarm blocks, one in a different room to make sure I get up.

Now back to the babbling brook. As soon as I stated that commitment, I started waking up on my own 20 minutes early several days a week, and at least 10 on the others. On Friday, I start an hour later so I get to sleep in until 6:20, and it happened today as well.  At 6:00 a.m., I was wide awake.  I really feel the whole invisible world must be cheering my commitment so loudly that it awakens me. Even more astounding, I haven't felt tired. Not the least bit sleepy, just raring to go.

As I've written, I moved from the waiting list where I'd been sitting for weeks and got into a personal growth workshop last week, which was really good for my soul.

A coach that I've been mentoring invited me to lunch yesterday, assuring that I not only got lunch, but also had a break, and social interaction. Yeah!  A colleague from the class I took last week stopped by to visit for 30 minutes and talk about the experience, giving me more social interaction.

The weather shifted about the same time as my commitment, making it most pleasant to walk 30 minutes to the Chinatown Metro stop instead of the one that is five minutes away, assuring that I get my 30 minutes of aerobic activity in almost every day.

Finally, I have gotten back to my Thursday night Argentine tango class, which feeds my right brain (praise The Lord!) my body, and my spirit.

I believe that by firmly drawing a line in the sand about bringing balance back into my life, I unleashed forces beyond me to affirm my intention. This has happened before. When I get truly clear, I have lots of help.  All I have to do is re-member how much help I have out there.





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If it is 12:29, it must be...

If it is 12:29, it must be time to swing the office refrigerator and grab some food to eat on the way to my 12:30 meeting. It is a good day: I have time to pick up the food on the way to my meeting. Some days I don't; other days it is 4 o'clock before I have time for my racing-grab-and-eat.

I have shared my struggle to find time to exercise since starting this blog seven months ago. I thought my struggle for time to meet basic human needs--food, exercise, rest--was me being out of control of my life. At the very least, I've conjectured, the problem is one of living in Washington at these times of brutal cuts in government budgets and the struggle to do more and more with fewer people.  (We have about half the people we had a year ago, doing more work.)

This morning's paper informed me I am wrong. While I won't say those things aren't true, the article began quoting several people struggling with increasing stress levels as a result of the race with our clocks.  The punch line, though, was that those quoted weren't Washingtonians, caught up in the frenzy I've experienced: they were all in Fargo, North Dakota.  Now that was a shocker.

Running on the hamster wheel seems to be a common human state these days.  I don't know if I feel pleased to learn that in a misery-loves-company sort of way, or depressed that there may be no hope of jumping off.  The article says that those who have managed to jump off usually discover that life is short and there is a lot they want to do...so they jump back on.

Can this hamster-wheel approach to life really be considered...life? 

When I think of the most wonderful moments of my life, they are the result of being totally present to the simple things in life.  They have been things I've written about before: a simple dinner and movie with a friend on my coffee table, tending my garden, a wonderful Viennese waltz, a stroll through the woods on a spring day, or the touch by a loved one to my cheek. 

Sadly, a lot of social pressure exists to stay on the hamster wheel, accepting four more assignments with deadlines this month and working longer and longer.  I know that my productivity declines when I work like that and certainly my creativity comes to a dead stop.  It would have been tragic if instead of leaving only 30 minutes late, I had stayed another 90 minutes and missed the walk I took through magnolia trees, forsythia, and daffodils in the majesty of a sunny-with-cobalt-blue-skies day in the nation's capitol.  I did so with people watching me leave "early," which has come to mean only working 30 minutes late.

The lunacy of this whole situation is that I spent at least 30 minutes today in a meeting talking about the importance of work-life balance with the very people who were assigning the work that keeps me late.  Go figure!

My intention--my target--has been to work sane hours and enjoy life, but I don't seem to have the will to stop.  I really hope that the social pressure hasn't numbed my personal will.  I am far ahead of where I was 24 hours ago.  I hope reading that article and writing this post will reinforce to me what is important in life.  I figure that even if I have to start over 100 times, that is way better than numbing out and being unaware.  So, once again I refocus my intention on what is important...and hope I remember it at 5 o'clock tomorrow.

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