Back in the 1990s when I was conducting my Intentional Living Intensives (ILIs) for executives and professionals, I was surprised about two persistent experiences in my clients' lives. First, almost all of them were within a year (+/_) of being 50, and, retrospectively, they could almost always look back and see a thread that had run through their lives, sometimes from childhood. As we pulled the thread, it became apparent that everything they had done had uniquely prepared them for what they were doing right then.
It happens that adults have normal transitions, just a predictable as the "Terrible Twos" are for children. Sometimes we are aware when the transition is occurring; often we need to look back to see it. One of those transitions occurs around age 50, and most of my clients were squarely in it. The 50 transition is about legacy. When I've passed from this world, what do I want to be remembered for? How will the world be better because I am in it? It was logical that at that crossroads, they would have been attracted to the ILI.
I have not kept up on the research, but when I was doing so, these transitions were described as occurring at about age 28, around 40 (most of us know about that one by reputation,) and around 50. Then, they stopped describing transitions, like we got to 50, and frozen in time, we stopped growing. America (and I suspect the developed world) is getting older. In the United States 25 per cent of the Baby Boomers are expected to reach age 100, becoming centenarians. I cannot believe that they aren't going to experience developmental transitions for the second half of life.
I've been thinking a lot about the second half of life this year because the health coaching track I chose is one for "Prime-Timers." That group is described as those who are in the second half of life. In this work, my role is to help them to be healthier so they can enjoy those years, but how very boring, I think, that they aren't expected to grow.
This evening I was reflecting on my life, and I can see two distinct threads, both of which go back to elementary school for me. As an adult, I've sometimes woven more deeply into one than the other, but it has always been present while taking vastly different manifestations. The other--food...healthy and delicious food, studying it, cooking it, eating it--has pretty much been a constant.
Although it has only been a month, in the exploratory transition in which I find myself, the things that have ended up intriguing me relate to those two things. What I find particularly intriguing is the difference in my attitude even from a year ago, when I first decided to step away from the workforce to explore. During major chunks of my past, instead of just enjoying both, I would have tried to figure out which it was, and almost as certainly, I'd be thinking about how I could make money to support myself.
Little of that now, I am just delighting in the journey. I am confident that the money I need will come...somehow. For now, bouncing from one to the other, sometimes within an hour's time has been fun and satisfying. I would describe it a bit like learning to juggle, but I never did master that and didn't find it much fun at it either.
I had this thought today that perhaps, for me at least, the second of life is going to be about pursuing whatever I enjoy, making a little money here and a little there. Why couldn't I follow both of my passions? And why would I even need to focus on one aspect of them rather than discovering the wonders of all their different manifestations? I've thought of four or five directions that might be fun for the health coaching to go, and I don't see any reason not to say "yes" to all of them as long as they bring me pleasure. I'm less far on the other journey, but it has already taken me in multiple directions that seem to support each other.
Even as I write this, it occurs to me that maybe this isn't new at all. Maybe I just diverted for a number of years before finding my way back home. When I had my own consulting business and was writing, I was an author, speaker, coach, consultant, and business press columnist. The books brought me speaking gigs, which often brought me coaching and consulting work. Then, I'd occasionally have a TV or radio interview or write a magazine article, which would feed the cycle. And, why should we not be surprised that I particularly enjoyed cooking for my ILI clients? I enjoyed the variety and found myself intellectually and spiritually challenged.
I now ponder that perhaps part of the reason that I stayed to long at my job was that it did offer a lot of variety, even if most of it wasn't my "sweet spot."
Maybe I have found my path, and it isn't a single path at all but a web of adventures, each promising more joy than I might have imagined possible even six weeks ago. I think I've found my way home in the middle of the messiness of it.
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