What Separates Me From God?

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of the 40-day Lenten season. Lent is traditionally observed by certain sects of Christianity, although my first Lenten observance far pre-dated my association with a church that observes Lent. 

I feel pretty ecumenical about my spiritual observances: when I learn about a practice from any religion that I believe will enrich me spiritually, I keep it.  I have grown from a number such practices.  That is how I came to observe Lent before doing so actually was part of my dedicated celebrations.  Now that I officially mark Lent, I find that many do not give up things with the seriousness to which I have brought to the practice.  ("I am going to give up smoking."  "Oh, really?  I didn't know you smoked." "I don't.)

During Lent, we are to take an accounting of our lives and determine what it is that separates us from our relationship with God, our Higher Power, All That Is, or however we describe that presence in our lives. While some give up things they never partake in, I think the determination of what separates us is every bit as important as the relinquishment.  Over the years, I have given up one thing and another, and each time I found myself much closer to the divine at the end of Lent. 

For at least a decade, I have given up sugar because I have found that there is nothing in my life that more quickly numbs me out than sugar.  Giving up sugar implies giving up alcohol because sugar is a basic ingredient in alcohol, and I have found a cycle between sugar and alcohol.  I am more easily able to resist that sweet dessert that I crave if I haven't had a glass of wine with dinner.

What astounds me each year though is that within a week or so, I miss neither the sweets nor the alcohol.  I am calm and connected and peaceful. I know I am closer to God.  Some years I've continued to observe the omission of sugar for weeks and even months, but sometime I slip down a slippery slope into Candy Land, until Lent is upon us again. 

Each year at this time, I ask myself why would I want to put something into my body that not only separates me from God, but leaves me feeling agitated and out of control...not to mention a few pounds heavier...each year.  I am beginning a season of gratitude for having sugar out of my system, and I will once again appreciate the peace and connection.  I am certain I will ponder whether I will do this to myself again, and while I am fairly certain I will, I really do not understand why.  For now, I am going to enjoy the richness of peace and connection for 40 days.