Emotional Intelligence and Intention

Way back in graduate school, I remember studying the levels of learning: the next-to-highest level of learning was teaching. I intellectualized that concept, but it was much later, when I actually was teaching on a regular basis, that I really started to "get it."

Probably in my second year teaching at the university, I remember presenting something one day, and all of the sudden having a personal Aha! moment during which in an instant I connected content that I knew well in a whole new way.  It was like a jigsaw puzzle that suddenly rearranged its pieces and created a totally different picture.  It happens to me now and again, even with topics that I've written about significantly. If I say the new understanding out loud, it doesn't sound all that different than what I may have written, but on a gut level my understanding is quite different.

Spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss has said that her understanding of "energy anatomy" came to her while she was teaching a related class. I suspect that most of us who have taught material we know well have experienced something like this.

That is how one day I related "emotional intelligence" to "intention." Now I understand why I've enjoyed writing  and teaching about both.

Because I am an Organization Development consultant and not a trainer, I rarely stand at the front of a classroom and teach any more. Instead, my coaching and consulting often afford me "teachable moments." By far more frequently than any other topic, emotional intelligence presents itself as a teachable moment. One day when I was coaching someone and writing on the board in back of my desk about emotional intelligence, it just came to me that my words were similar to ones I'd used with intention.

A number of authors and researchers have written about emotional intelligence, so the language is slightly different depending on who is writing.  Five generally accepted elements comprise emotional intelligence:

1. Self-awareness
2. Self-management
3. Self-motivation
4. Empathy
5. Social Skills

Simply put, self-awareness underlies all of the others.  The next two are internally focused. Once we are aware of what we want and need, then are we able to manage and motivate ourselves to do what we want or need to do?  The last two are externally focused. Self-awareness feeds both.  Am I aware of how I react to others? Do I have the social skills to behave appropriately?  Of course, self-management and self-motivation are key to those last two as well.

My Aha! about emotional intelligence (EI) and intention came when I was talking about EI the day after I'd been writing about intention.  The self-awareness piece of intention is that in order to live my intention, I need to listen to my heart and to learn what is written on the back side of it. Then, can I manage and motivate myself to act in accordance with what I know in my heart?

As simple as that.  I say that tongue in cheek because I know full well how very difficult self-awareness, self-management, and self-motivation are.  I've written in blog posts as recently as yesterday about my struggle being able to do what I know I need to do. Slow down, rest, exercise, skip sugar...you've heard them all.

I believe that none of us ever gets those pieces 100%.  At least not in this world.  A coaching client once surmised that when people got close to the 100% they were "called home."  They had nothing more to learn.

What is important is that we have an awareness of what we want to create and, when we don't succeed, like falling off a horse, we climb back on and give it another try. I actually sat and ate lunch today.  For two nights in a row, I've left the office only 30 minutes late, and I walked for 30 minutes through the beautiful spring weather and abundant blossoms.  And, instead of preparing for a job interview I have tomorrow, I am doing what I love--writing.  For this moment, I am totally at peace, and this moment is the only one that really counts.



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