I began writing this blog in October of 2013. Even on days that I didn't know what it was going to be when I sat down, the words have always come. At the first of this year, I committed to writing at least 15 minutes each day, and I have reported for duty as promised. The words have been flowing easily every evening...until for the first time last night, the words were not there.
What was the block to my words? The only other time that I have had complete writer's block was for two weeks prior to writing the first draft of Leading from the Heart. I had blocked off two months, and then, like now, the words had always been there. Except they weren't there that day...or the next...or the next. I prayed. I meditated. I saw my therapist three times in a week. I can't say what the block was or what ended it, but suddenly one day, I got up from my meditation, went to the computer, and the words moved through me so fast that I could hardly keep up. They kept coming until the draft was complete.
I said that I would show up every day and write for 15 minutes; I didn't say I would post every day. I wrote...and wrote...and it was all garbage. I spared you. I went to bed disappointed in myself and sad that I may have let down my readers.
Magic worked in my sleep.
Regular readers will recall that I had been in something of a dream desert for the last few years, but since entering my transition and getting a full night's sleep almost every night, the dreams have been back, richly and generously. Almost every night I have remembered at least one dream; most mornings it has been several. One morning I couldn't remember until I sat to meditate, and then I started recalling details, which eventually flowed together. I believe adequate sleep is part of the answer, but I am also confident that the respect that I've been showing the dreams is also a big piece.
Each morning immediately on waking I write whatever I recall, and, as I do, I usually remember more. The volume has been as many as six dreams in a night. This morning I only recollected two but in great detail. I wrote three 8-1/2 x 11-inch pages about the two dreams. Then I go through and note the symbolism of different aspects of the dream. Finally, I journal what the message was to me and what I plan to do about it. The Universe should have no doubt that I am listening.
Over several days, I've received messages that change is occurring now or soon. That shouldn't be a surprise, I am in a conscious period of transition. One of this morning's dreams made clear that I will be going in a totally different direction. Also not a huge leap since I've felt so burned out from my consulting work within the government.
The other persistent theme, which came in spades this morning after last night's block, was the need for more meditation, usually symbolized in dreams by fish. In this dream, I was claiming a message and reached over to buy a very small fish--very small. Get this, I'm trying to get messages, but only putting in a small time for meditation to receive them.
Then I was invited to dinner with someone I met at the message center. He fed me fish that were many times larger that the very small fish I had purchased. Finally, he and a wise old woman invited me for dinner again, and this time she fed me fish that were several times larger than the ones he had fed me.
I would have to be really dense not to get the message here. I need to meditate more.
I am taking a class that demands a lot of time, and I've been trying to get most of the work done in the first 2-1/2 days of the week so that I would have uninterrupted time for the rest of the week. To accomplish that, last night I worked until after midnight. I think that maybe part of the message here is to start my day by asking what I should do, and that might mean stretching the work over several more days.
If that doesn't work, I'll try something else. I am certain that after having had writer's block for only the second time in my life last night that I will listen more often and more intently.
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