Radical Gratitude

I just spent a lovely, relaxed evening with friends--chili, cornbread, prosecco with a Hallmark movie. Eleven years ago, I didn't know they existed; yet, for most of the intervening years, we've spent holidays as if we were family. In truth, we are family.  Last week I enjoyed leftovers and a movie with a different friend that I didn't know existed 11 years ago.  How interesting to me that people who are so special--and these are certainly not the only ones--weave into our lives effortlessly.

By the grace of God.

A couple days ago, I wrote about the sacred space our group created at our Theology on Tap gathering.  While it was an extraordinary experience, my conversation after our adjournment triggered a memory in me that had lapsed over the years.  After the adjournment, I talked with the Bishop,  and he shared with me the concept of "radical gratitude."  I was puzzled when he first said the term.  I asked about it.

Radical gratitude, he said, is looking at the things we have to be grateful for as a result of things that happened in our lives that we consider to be bad or negative.   Then, being able to be grateful for those things because of the gifts that we received as a result of the "bad" events.  How quickly I resonated with the concept.

Every Intentional Living Intensive that I facilitated was unique.  I was guided what exercises to do with each participant.  Yet, there were several that almost all of my clients participated in.  One was what I called the Extreme Gratitude exercise.  I would start by working with the client to identify a situation that he/she considered "the worst thing that had happened" to them.  Then, we would tease out all the good things that had occurred because of that "bad" situation.

I can recall one man sitting with tears rolling down his cheeks as we identified many wonderful things that had resulted because of his "bad" situation.  How interesting to think that something just a few minutes early we considered personally devastating, and then to discover what a gift it had been. Radical gratitude...what an appropriate term.

In the documentary "Happy!" about which I've written several times this week, the concept that bad things happen to happy people was discussed. They happen, and happy people respond appropriately...and then they bounce back.  I think that a key piece of the bouncing back is recognizing that whatever occurs on our paths is a gift, and each circumstance leads us to people and situations that could not have occurred without it.

Just as my clients discovered their gifts in difficult situations, I, too, have experienced radical gratitude. Had my business not failed in the dot.com bust, forcing me to move to Washington, none of these people who I value would have come into my life.  I would have missed all of the experiences that I've had in the last 11 years.

I am grateful...radically grateful...for the people with whom I spent this lovely evening and for the often uncomfortable circumstances that brought us together.