Feeling Our Prayers

Prayer--communion with God. Ahh! Just being with those words makes my heart "vibrate" with warmth. Prayer is a two-way communication with the divine, but deeper and more consuming of our total presence.

It is not always so.  As children, we spilled out the words, "God is great. God is good. And we thank him for our food," by rote and quickly at that, lest the food get cold in the few seconds they took. 

And, there is the "Lord's Prayer," which many of us have said so many times that we don't even think about the words, much less feel them.  When we pray the Lord's Prayer together in church, more often than not, if seems to me as if the congregation is racing through the words without even pausing for a comma much less to put feeling in them.

Several years ago, I studied the "Lord's Prayer" in Aramaic, the original language of the prayer.  Since then, at least once each day, I say the prayer in Aramaic. When I first started, the prayer was slow and thoughtful, as I remembered the richness and complexity of the words in the original language.  Sadly, the Aramaic words now spill out as thoughtlessly as the English version does most of the time.

After making my blog post last night, I felt my prayers.  Why on one particular night did I feel my prayers?  Perhaps it was the intensity of the visits to the war memorials that slowed me down or maybe it was the realization of the multi-generational pain of which I've been a part because of those wars.  Whatever the reason, I had really felt the presence of the divine in my heart yesterday.  As I prayed, I felt my prayers.  It is a profound experience to really feel prayer.

The words were really irrelevant.  In my heart, I could feel love, ebbing and flowing with my breathing. I actually felt bringing more love into the world so there would be less pain, loss, and grief.  Today I've felt love, warmth and mercy being wrapped around me like a warm blanket on this cold and windy night.  I feel the relaxation that comes with spiritual surrender. I will feel grateful as I write my gratitude journal, sending prayers of thanks.  I will feel delight as I express gratitude that I can wiggle my fingers and toes.  I will feel the reality of my affirmations as I say them.

I am quite confident that this is how we are in communion with God, the divine, all there is, or whatever term you prefer.  This is how we say to God, this is what I intend to receive into my life.  How often though I have prayed out of fear or anger, and fear and anger were the messages that I communed to God.  Just thinking about it breaks my heart, but in its breaking open, I also send a prayer. Our feelings are the messages we send to God.  If fear and anger are prayers, then so much more are joy, peace, and love prayers. 

I am not sure if God even hears those rote prayers; of course, I am not sure that God doesn't hear them either.  However, I am certain that when we are present to what we are feeling, we can be intentional about our prayers.  A happy thought can be a prayer. A smile may also be a prayer.  Delight is most certainly a prayer.  Playing the Grocery Store Game can be prayer. Each moment we pray.  Consciousness allows us to decide what we will pray and then really be present to the prayer.