Being in the Not-Knowing

Yesterday I wrote that "Not-Knowing as a Way of Life" had been being pushed into my face a lot recently.  Then, when I wrote about it, the floodgates burst open.  Mostly, nothing huge has been turned over, but little things that I thought might be true have been upended all day.  One larger idea has been set spinning, not enough to be totally upended, but certainly enough to cause me to examine it for depth and complexity.

So what is all of this about?  When I started this blog I said that I didn't intend to share answers but to examine questions with which I grappled on my spiritual journey.  That has never been truer than today. 

History tells me that when I write about something I am issuing to the Universe an invitation to send me lessons.  From the onset of writing Leading from the Heart, a book about courage, I was repeatedly tested for courage.  By the time it was published three and a half years later, my life had been taken apart, piece by piece, and put together again, once again piece by piece, very consciously and intentionally.  The putting together required me to look into the crevices and the foundations of my life and discover what was true...and then have the courage to act upon it. 

Leading from the Heart had not been released when I started working on The Alchemy of Fear, obviously a book about fear...and love...and once again, everything that I truly feared in life looked me in the eye and demanded that I choose the love/God option rather than fear.

At that point, I said I was going to stop writing. I'd spent five to six years learning about fear and courage.  Not a walk in the park. Well, of course, it is ridiculous to say I was going to stop writing.  I'd been writing since I could hold a pencil and have a permanent knot on the side of my middle finger to prove it.  I could no more stop writing than I could stop breathing.

So, I thought, I'll write about a subject that will be fun to learn about.  Choice Point is my as-yet-unpublished book on intention.  Now, one might think that intention would be a trip.  Not!  I was writing about the intentions of our soul to do what we came into the world to do.  Unless you are really dense, you've already figured this one out: I had to really listen...a lot...to what my soul wanted.  You will note that I said my "as-yet-unpublished book"--I am still in lesson on that one.

The Game Called Life was easy.  I love it.  It has been straight-forward and describes how I aspire to live.  Yet, even my beloved The Game Called Life has been playing games with me as I prepare it for electronic version.

Last night, I wrote about "not-knowing."  I really don't know (appropriate) how this one is going to turn out.  I do know that things I hoped to be certain 24 hours ago are much less so now.  I have no answers on this one.  I am sitting with the questions, which, in truth, seems appropriate for a topic like "not-knowing."  I am back in school, as if we aren't always.  :-)