The most primitive part of our brains--the part that formed millions of years before our rational brains--is hardwired to respond to fear. When humans existed in the wilds, and life was a day-to-day struggle for survival, what is called the "reptilian brain" developed two basic instantaneous responses to threat: "fight" or "flight." Interestingly, this primitive response will literally short-circuit the rational part of the brain when threat is perceived, stopping it from functioning.
What does all this have to do with the spiritual journey? Almost everything, actually. Because the reptilian brain is programmed for survival, it will try to keep us in survival mode. It's purpose is to keep us alive. By definition, living in constant fear is constraining and limiting.
The spiritual life is expansive. It is one of learning, growth, and acceptance. We are sent into this world with service to perform, spiritual growth lessons to learn, and gifts and talents to develop. If we do any of these things well, we will regularly look fear in the face. If we listen to what we know in our hearts, though, what compels us is the urge to thrive.
It seems to me that there must almost always be the grappling of these two forces within us: the part of us that wants only for us to survive wrestling with the part of us that wants to grow, perform our service, use our talents...and thrive. Contraction versus expansion.
Not so many years ago, I can recall having made the statement that I'd never made a decision which was based on money considerations. I would have said that I always listen to my heart and just know that if I do so, everything will work out. Except when it didn't. About 12 years ago, I lost everything...really. But for friends that allowed me to use spare bedrooms, I would have been in the streets.
Circumstances from my early childhood had left me fiercely independent from a very early age. I had gone from being a successful global consultant, author and professional speaker with a lovely home and office overlooking a lake to having no assets, being homeless and not knowing how I would pay for food. How could that have happened to me? I'd had a savings account since I was an infant and a well-funded retirement since my early thirties. Then I had nothing. I was terrified. I plugged into my reptilian brain, and I haven't fully been able to shake it.
I struggle with that. I want to thrive. I want to do the work I came into the world to do. I want to learn and grow and to use my gifts. Quite thankfully for this blog, I am getting my writer's groove back. I really believe that we are to listen to our hearts and do what makes them sing. The spiritual journey is about following that to which we are drawn, rather than running from what we fear.
After I'd completed my end-of-the-day ritual of affirmations, gratitude journal, and prayer last night, and had turned out the lights, I suddenly knew that something was wrong in what I'd posted yesterday. Throwing back the covers and turning the light back on, I padded out to my desk and rebooted my computer in my otherwise dark apartment. I felt it urgent to correct before I slept. Really, I think I needed to acknowledge my truth.
Yesterday I compared the human connection to Love source to that of the aspen grove which appears to be hundreds or thousands of trees, but shares a common root structure and is connect at the most fundamental level. We look like individual people, but in truth, we are connected through a common source: Love. What I had said is that when we are connected to source that we couldn't be hurt. I realized that was my reptilian brain talking about avoiding hurt. My change, although apparently only a minor one, was to say that when we are connected through Love, we are safe and peaceful. The shift is from running away from something--hurt--to moving toward something we want--Love, peace, and safety. Such a small thing...and everything.
On the spiritual journey, when I can be awake enough to remember (translate that I have disengaged my reptilian brain,) my real lesson is to follow Love. What I wan to move toward. That's all...and everything.
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