Assembled Families

In three more days, we will end what for many has been a time of family gatherings, food, and fun. I was at a dance tonight, and someone asked if I'd gotten to spend time with family.  My flesh-and-blood family is pretty much gone now, but instead of responding as I usually do--that I don't have family and spend the holidays with friends, I found different words tumbling out of my mouth.  I have no idea where the words came from, but I said, "I hosted Christmas dinner for my assembled family."

I liked the ring of it: assembled family. 

Usually at this time of year, I have a quiet pity party because I don't have family with whom to share the celebrations.  Today I had a conversation with a friend that described a very unNorman Rockwellian holiday, and for a few minutes I thought maybe it wasn't so bad after all that I didn't have family.  Later in the day I thought about my assembled family again.

I have a group of friends with whom I feel very close.  We support each other in tough times, we celebrate happy times, and as we've all begun to age, we share thoughts and prayers in health and family crises, large and small.  And, we have holidays together.  This year I shared the holidays with one part of my assembled family, and last year I celebrated with a different part.  All parts are warm and close.

The thing about assembled families is that we get to pick who our family is. An assembled family can be as large or small as we choose. I am proud to say that I have picked well, and I am most grateful to have these people in my life.  The great thing about assembled families: everyone can have one, even if they also have flesh-and-blood family. 

As I look forward to the year ahead, I plan to be more intentional in adding family members and more grateful for the ones I have.