Assessment

Tomorrow another year ends.  Passed will be another opportunity to learn and grow...another opportunity to be a better, more complete human being.  At the same time, another opportunity begins...a time to look at how I can become a better, more complete human being.  Standing on the cusp of two years, I assess.

Six words in large black letters are taped to both my home and work computers: my intentions for 2013. 

          Love     Laughter     Health     Happiness     Wealth     Wisdom

I quit making resolutions years ago for reasons that I will write about tomorrow.  My intentions are those qualities that I want to increase in my life.  Resolutions seem to disappear with the wind by the second week of January each year, as attested by attendance in every gym in the country.  Intentions, by contrast, are core to our being: they are the spiritual reasons that we came into this world.  We can walk away from resolutions, but we fundamentally fail who we are if we turn our backs on intentions.

These six words are qualities that I have had to more or less extent.  Some are things that I yearn for, and others are those with which I'd like more comfort. 

As I assess the last 12 months, I find that my progress has been unexpected.  A friend and I started in January last year taking in stand-up and improv comedy shows.  I've also watched some movies with no redeeming social value except that they made me laugh--sometimes really hard. I even rediscovered some classic comedians (Bill Cosby, Bob Newhart, Carol Burnett and her troupe) and valued their gifts yet again. But what I've learned most about "laughter" in the last year is that what I intended wasn't just to laugh but to see humor in the moment.  The improv people do that pretty well.  Me? Not so much.  Yet I assess that understanding the process is a progress.  And a year full of laughs can never be wasted.

While I figured going to a stand-up performance in January might be a good start to "laughter," nothing shouted "logical first step" to "wisdom" for me.  It took me months to discover that a two-line email back in May would not only propel me forward in "wisdom" but in other qualities as well. The email from my friend Martin Rutte asked me, "Suppose I gave you a magic wand and with that wand you could create the ideal job.    What is that job?"

Well, that took me aback.  It was the job I had in the late 90s--writing books and articles, coaching executives, and professional speaking, but that wasn't sustainable in more than one way.  I pondered, "How could I look at this differently?"  My fallback position when presented with a koan is to do what one is supposed to do with a koan: meditate.  I took four days in May and meditated on this question.  The answer was that it wasn't about a job; it was about the work.  I loved using my special gifts in service to others.  The short story is that by September I was writing this blog, and by June I had taken on several new coaching clients. 

Where's the "wisdom?"  I discovered new ways to use my gifts and to be of service.  Not only that, but in the process of writing this blog, I've learned a lot about "love," "happiness," "wealth," and even some about "health."  Each time I've written a post, I've learned from it.  I've had some health challenges this year, but I feel like I've made forward movement. Sometime early next year, I will probably have yet another eye surgery, and then "I will see clearly...." again. 

My assessment of 2013?  I would like to have made more progress, but I've done a respectable job of growing this year.  I hope to do better next year; however, that is only possible because of growth I've experienced this year.