Do I Exist?

Somewhere I heard the reason that we have primary relationships is to prove that we exist.  I am not sure I would go so far as to say that is why we have those relationships, but, at least in my marriage, that was an important function.  He encouraged, celebrated, commiserated, and a lot of other things with me, all of which had the function of "proving my existence."

As a woman of a certain age who has been single for nearly 20 years, I have had moments, especially when I was both living and working alone, when I wondered if it were true.  Did I exist or was I just a figment of my imagination?  Of course, physicists would tell us from a physical perspective nothing really exists, but those in the spiritual world would say the only parts that matter are our souls and spirits.  Clearly, they exist, and yet, we can't prove it.

I've mentioned the set of eight affirmations that I am working on.  I repeat them on my way to work, like saying the rosary.  Over and over again, I repeat them. My first two are:

•  I am Love.
• The Truth is: we are all Love.

This morning as I was changing trains at rush hour and after having repeated the set several times, a question just popped into my mind in the middle of all those people:  is this what it means to not exist...in a good way? 

I was having a conversation earlier this week with a colleague who has a new painting in her office.  The painting is of an aspen grove.  I've been fascinated with aspen groves ever since learning that, although they may look like a lot of individual trees, in fact that are a single tree.  As the common root system spreads out, it sends up shoots that look like independent trees, but they are in fact a unified whole. 

I am beginning to "get" that this is how it is with Love.  Love is to humankind as the common root structure is to the grove of aspen.  Love gives us life.  Love provides us with sustenance.  Love connects all of us. Love makes us One. And, when we are connected to the Ultimate Love Source, we are safe and peaceful.  All we need to remember is that we are safe, and then we will have peace.

That is why I think I don't exist...and it is a good thing.  And, maybe that is what a primary relationship is about and how it proves that we exist: it gives us a reflection into our whole that we couldn't see otherwise.  When it works right, it is a daily reminder and reflection that we are Love...we are all Love.