The day of the year when I feel almost as happy about working hard around the house as I do the day I decorate for Christmas is the day I undecorated for Christmas. Tree out, wreath and poinsettias gone, furniture back where it belongs: with a deep sigh of relief, things have fallen back to "normal," whatever that is.
I am an NPR junkie, and I find the programs of my local station intellectually stimulating while doing mindless tasks around my apartment, like cleaning and removing ornaments and lights. Today I heard an interesting piece* about happiness and its relationship to usage of time, which started me thinking all afternoon and evening.
Two elements of the research of Dr. John Robinson, University of Maryland sociology professor, tell the story. First, those who are less rushed feel happier, and second, those who have less free time on their hands express happiness more often. The magic happiness cocktail: a combination of not being rushed and having little free time. Not rushed, but having little free time? This seems like a contradiction. I thought if I had less free time, I would feel more rushed. Yet, Robinson's research shows that people who are very happy almost never feel rushed. The reason that they have less free time, he has found, is that they have a lot of interests which they remain engaged in, and which, apparently, bring them happiness.
A related piece of research mentioned in the program, Dr. Erik Angner, economics professor at George Mason University, reports that the more television people watch, the less happy they are. The leap is that they aren't engaged in interests that bring them pleasure, so they have a lot of free time to watch television.
I have a colleague who seems very happy. She has two small children, but she is still is engaged in community, church, and family activities. I've often wondered how she does all she does, but, despite all that she has happening in her life, she never seems to be rushed. I'd say her life supports Robinson's research.
Some topics just keep coming around. The first is about being present. It seems to me that when I am really present, I am not rushed. I am not thinking about what is next or what isn't being done; I am able to enjoy what I am doing because I am present to it in the moment. As someone who often does feel rushed, I can say that it relaxes me to just think about being really engaged and present to a number of pleasurable activities. I actually could have been as mindful about undecorating my house--really been present--as I was decorating it, and I'll bet I would have felt a lot less tired at the end of the day.
The second is about choice. Robinson reports that those who are most rushed experience outside pressures beyond their control. He says that a sense of control in our lives is important to happiness. But who could have more balls in the air than my colleague, who seems never rushed? I suspect that those who are happiest just choose to be present--they choose to let go of control in exchange for just enjoying--being in joy--with what they are doing.
Winston Churchill is credited (probably incorrectly) with the quote: "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." If we feel too rushed to give or even too rushed to be present, then, it would seem to me, that we are really choosing not to be happy, although most of us would probably not make that choice if we were conscious of what we are doing.
Robinson sums up his research with a play on words from the Bobby McFerrin hit of a couple decades ago: "Don't hurry, be happy." Now that's a choice. Why would I want to hurry if I could be happy? That's a no-brainer. I think that may be a good fourth intention for my year...or maybe the intention should be: "Be present for this year." I think it is the same.
http://wamu.org/programs/metro_connection/13/05/24/dont_hurry_be_happy_research_highlights_link_between_busy_lives_and_bliss#at_pco=cfd-1.0
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